Memories Monday

I haven't fully decided on this yet...but I've been looking through some old pictures lately and am thinking I might do "memories Monday". I am finding some of the most adorable pictures of the kids and some really fun memories, that I want to share. So it's not fully decided but I may just have to do it!

Josh had gotten into photography and so we have a ton of "practice" pictures of the kids. These are so adorable of Kaidon. He was so tiny, but serious about his football!

Kaidonisms

For as long as Kaidon has been talking, he has said some of the funniest things. He always has us cracking up whether he tries to or not and whether he finds the humor or not. I thought I would share some of his "kaidonisms" for those of you who need a little pick me up today.

When Kaidon was about 2 and Emma was four, they were playing with Lego's on the floor. Emma stood up and in walking behind Kaidon, accidentally stepped on his fingers. She immediately realized what she had done and before she could apologize Kaidon holding his hand in the air and in his little two year old voice says "EMMA! Do you know what these are?...THESE are fingers! You do not step on fingers!" Emma very sweetly replies "I'm sorry Kaidon", which was apparently good enough for him because he turned around and went back to playing with his Lego's. State the facts, buddy, just so everyone is clear!

Kaidon has always been very warm blooded. He rarely wears a coat and can spend hours in the snow without complaining of the cold. He ice fishes with my dad and is a total outdoors man even in the dead of winter. About a year ago Kaidon told me he kept getting a rash but that it would go away and then show up again. I was getting a little concerned, although, like his rash, my concern just kept going away as I got busy with life. Well, one day as we were driving in the car Kaidon announced that his rash was back. I immediately looked to evaluate if I should be calling the pediatrician, and in my head I started going over anything we had eaten in the past 24 hours so I could maybe relate his fluctuating rash to an allergy. When I examined the "rash" it was nothing more than goose bumps! I said "honey, those are goose bumps, it happens when you get cold". "oh" he replied "THOSE are goose bumps?". It's OK buddy, you're not dying of some rare disease!

Just the other day I called Kaidon in from playing outside. He came racing in the house and I started talking away. The whole time I was talking he was banging on the back of his head. I finally stopped what I was saying and asked him "buddy, what are doing that for?" In which he replied "well, I got up too fast and now I'm trying to get my heart back in my chest and out of my head!" Hmmm, is that how it works buddy? If something is outta whack just pound it back into place!

Kaidon was one of those rare boys who potty trained early. By the time he was two he was completely in big boy undies. The only problem with this, was that it took him forever to use the potty! One day my mom took him into the restroom, and Kaidon was talking and telling her practically everything that had happened in his life up until this point. My mom, getting a little antsy asked him "are you almost done buddy?" in Which Kaidon replied "I think he's getting on his shoes first, then he'll come out Grandy!". Yep, there's always a good reason isn't there buddy? If not, just make one up!

I set myself up for failure when I started tickling my kids backs when they were young. They constantly ask us to tickle their backs whenever their is a lull in life. We can be standing in line at Disney World and as soon as conversation stops one of the kids will say "will you tickle my back?". When Kaidon was around four years old he asked me if I'd tickle his back. I was preoccupied with something else and so I told him "no, not now". Most kids would respond with an "ok" or something close to that response. Not Kaidon, nope, his reply? "why? 'cause there's a butt back there?" It's never stopped me before has it buddy? I realized long ago you had a butt back there!

My mom is here visiting this week. The day she came into town the kids were all excited to show her all the things that were now new in their life. One of the things Kaidon wanted to share was his rubber band bracelets. As he was showing my mom, and she is trying to act interested she asked "Wow! where did you find these?" He frowns and looks up at her as if she were a complete fool and says "Grandy, we didn't find these, we bought them!" Without skipping a beat my mom just said "oh, you bought them? where?". Yes, buddy, some things just need to be clarified to us adults, especially the old timers! We're just not up to date on all these great new things.

Kaidon often reminds me of a book that's called Parts. It is a really funny child's point of view book concerning our bodies and the things that seem so normal to us as adults but are so foreign to kids. If you have young kids I recommend finding it and reading it. Keep us in mind as you do, because if I was a paranoid person, I'd be thinking this author tapped into our house and got all the information from listening to the "Kaidonisms" that have occurred over the years!

What Luck, A Duck!

I used to read the kids this book called "What Luck, A Duck!" when they were younger. Basically, It's a book about this boy who is painting in his garage and he's really just not very good. Luckily for him this duck comes along and steps in his paint and low and behold, he now holds in his hands a masterpiece. It's not really a very good book but I liked it just because it rhymed and I'm a sucker for rhyming books. Tonight however we had a not so lucky encounter with a duck, but it is so freakin' hysterical that if I didn't share it, I'd be letting all of you down.

First of all Josh is out of town. I am beginning to think it would be in the best interest of our children if he would quit leaving me alone with them without his supervision, but I will discuss that with him later. Emma stayed home with the kids tonight while I attended Kindergarten back to school night. When I got home she had all the girls showered and waiting for me to do their hair (yes, I do their hair each evening to make my mornings run smoother). Because it was getting a little dark outside I hollered to my mom, who stayed with me last night to be some relief as I single parent this week, and asked her to be sure the dogs were in the house. Remember we live on land where we do have coyotes howling on our doorstep each night and I do not want a vet bill ...ur I mean, I love the dogs so much I am extremely anal about getting them in before the coyotes come out. I hear my mom hollering for P.D. and then I hear the kids start hollering for him. Kaidon starts yelling at him to come in and then Emma gets involved and starts trying to get him. Keep in mind, I am in the little girls bathroom doing hair while listening to the whole ordeal. Next thing I know I hear them talking about a duck. I know exactly what they are talking about because for the last couple of weeks we have had ducks visiting our ponds and I had seen them swimming several times while thinking to myself "it's good that P.D. is afraid to get in the water or he'd have those ducks dead by now" . Kaidon starts hollering and laughing saying "ahhh the duck! No, P.D.! come here! Get in the house! MOOOOMMMM! "I continue to do hair knowing that the kids I've raised are so intelligent that they will just naturally know to stay away from the wildlife and my mom is out there hollering for P.D. to get in the house too so I know they have adult supervision. I had a lot of faith..... until....Emma comes barelling through the house holding the collar of a muddy, wet, swamp smelling P.D.!

What happens next will both frighten you and leave you shaking your head in disbelief, I promise! I start telling Emma....ok, so I was screaming like a patient in a psycho ward but that is a minor detail in this story, a minor detail that really doesn't change the ending at all so just go with it! So, I was telling Emma to take the dog and put him in my shower quickly and DO NOT LET HIM GET ON MY BED!!!! Once he got in the shower (after getting him down off the bed twice and me finally taking over) I realize I need to be in there with him in order to get him clean. I jump in the shower (fully clothed....don't go there with me) and tell Kayela to hold the shower door closed so P.D. cannot escape while I hold the shower sprayer with one hand, his collar with another hand, the shampoo with another hand, help Kayela hold the door shut with my other hand, scrub every inch of P.D. with another hand, rinse him with my other hand, keep soap out of his eyes with my other hand and keep the water away from his ears with my other hand....you're getting the point right? It was chaos! What does Emma do? She takes pictures with her Iphone. (I would share the pictures she took but I didn't have a free hand to hold up my pants and therefore you'd be looking at things I am just not willing to share with blog readers at this time). What does Kayela do? She opens the shower door and lets the dog out! Once I got the soaking wet dog off my bed again I start to wonder why I haven't seen Kaidon or my mom yet since the whole purpose was to bring the dog in and he was clearly in the building.

That's when I hear it! I swear I hear my mom say "Kaidon, put the duck down" and I know right then and there that this is trouble with a capital "T"! Being the calm person that I am around wild creatures I quickly run to rescue my mom from whatever my son is doing with a duck. I follow their voices to the garage and come upon the scene: my mom holding a hockey stick, Kaidon in his tighty-whities and crocs, dog food (bait) all over the floor and they are both looking for something behind the refrigerator and freezer. My mom says "I told him to put the duck down, and he did, in the garage and now it's behind here" She jabs the hockey stick in the small opening and Kaidon is standing about 10 feet away looking at me shrugging his shoulders as if to say "oops!" I walk out closer to Kaidon and just about that time the duck peeks it's head out and I start uncontrollably screaming like I am being chased by a mass murderer! I swear I don't know what comes over me but as much as I tell myself I am going to be brave and calm, when the thing looks at me with beady eyes I can't help but want to curl up in a fetal position and suck my thumb! After I am done screaming Kaidon says "It's OK, Manny" ....huh? My mom says "who is Manny?" Kaidon says proudly "my pet duck" I say "we named it? We are NOT keeping that duck as a pet!" The whole time my mom is trying to get "Manny" out from behind the fridge and the whole time I shriek every time I see a feather or webbed foot peek out. "Grab it, Kaidon" my mom says each time "Manny" comes out from hiding and each time he chickens out. He then proceeds to tell us "it's scary!" WHAT?? Isn't this the kid who just picked a duck up out of the pond, named it "Manny" and plopped it down in my garage? Since it clearly didn't make sense we ask for clarification and Kaidon tells us "Manny's turned into a mad man!" I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard! The "pet" duck is now a mad man!

We never did get "Manny" out of the garage. No, actually, we were so preoccupied by the fact that Kaidon called him a "mad man" that somehow "Manny" escaped without a trace. I've searched high and low and no sign of him anywhere. I am ready though for the reappearance of "Mad Man Manny", I just know the thing is going to pop out when I least expect it and scare me to death!

Thanks to Emma, we did get a picture of Kaidon with Manny.....before he turned into a "mad man".

Reprimanded!

Josh and I have been married for almost 14 years. I have not lived under my parents roof for 15 years, and yet I am still being reprimanded by my dad.

Last weekend my dad took Kaidon fishing with him up in Wyoming. Kaidon is a boy scout at heart and my dad was a boy scout so they have a really unique bond (being that Josh's idea of "outdoors" is a massage on the poolside in Hawaii). They fished until they had enough stories to tell to last a lifetime. We've heard about a hawk flying down and snatching a fish right out of the water, we've heard about them using the wrong bait, they didn't miss the over flowing hobo baths, one fish they caught spit out it's eggs and the fish Kaidon caught gets longer each time he holds his hands out to tell us how long it was. Although I packed Kaidon several clean outfits he wore the same thing each day. They had a GREAT time!

Then, I get this email from my dad on Tuesday, it says:

WENT TO THE BLOG TO SEE A PICTURE OF KAIDON & FISH ? NO KAIDON NO FISH !

I cut and copied the above straight from my dads email. He said nothing more, nothing less. He wrote all in caps to let me know the severity of my crime. I actually didn't even realize my dad read my blog. I truly am wondering if he really does or if he just went to "check on me" to see if I was giving this fishing trip any justice at all. I've always been very compliant so....here are some pictures of Kaidon and his Grampy's fishing trip. ENJOY!

Life's a Comedy!
As I've mentioned before several times and have made it clear for those of you who live life with me on a daily basis, I love to laugh, I mostly laugh at my own jokes and perceptions of things but that is beside the point.

More often than not my sense of humor is really an asset. I can laugh at the same thing for years and years and even lay awake at night sometimes thinking of crazy things I did as a kid. I laugh at so many things that should just really not be that funny anymore! I could go on and on about these goofy stories but trust Josh on this...YOU wont think they are funny! The great thing is that you can call me at any time laughing your head off and I will join you! Before I even know why you're laughing I will be laughing, and be laughing even harder than you are. I may even ask you to hold on for a second before you tell me why you're calling because I'm laughing to hard for me to hear you! Really, some people like my mother, cry when they see other people crying and don't need to even hear why. That is how I am with laughter. It is really contagious. I'm almost tempted to join people in public when they are laughing, just because I want to know why they are laughing...I KNOW I WOULD THINK IT WAS FUNNY!

There are times though when maybe, just maybe my sense of humor and uncontrollable laughter are just not appropriate! Like maybe when I'm trying to help Kaidon with his school project. Yes, he had to come up with a visual aide for his Martin Luther King Jr. speech. All I could come up with was a bunch of slap stick humor stuff that I'm almost positive his teacher would not appreciate. I thought it would be really funny to take a video of Tait all dressed up with the famous speech in the background moving his lips and hands like he was giving the speech. Kaidon is a little more reserved so he didn't go for any of the ideas I had, and now that I am away from the situation I'm glad at least one of us controlled ourselves and decided that maybe this wasn't a chance for Kaidon to have his first gig as a stand up comic.

I better come up with something good though because if we leave it up to Josh it will turn into an enormous project that half the state of Colorado is involved in. Yes, go back and look at my post about the bubble machine and you will know why I am suddenly sweating bullets at my lack of seriousness concerning Kaidon's project. It's just not good that I couldn't pull myself together long enough to focus on the task at hand.