Eating Worms

I'm not that big of a complainer. Actually I think I am pretty upbeat and positive most of the time, especially considering what I have to deal with sometimes. I enjoy laughing at things and making sure I put a positive spin on things. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not at all saying that I NEVER have a negative word or thought. I do. I often do. I'm one to be irritated that Kaidon talks to loud, while Mikael speaks in a barely audible voice. I am not happy when my six year old has a fit that sends the neighborhood indoors because they don't want to hear it. I roll my eyes when I walk into Emma's room only to find that a tornado hit the house and she failed to tell me so I could make an insurance claim....again! I'm annoyed by Graysie's abrasive personality especially when it is to an innocent bystander in line at the grocery store. When Mihya decides to play her guitar practically sitting on my lap when I get on a phone call, I'm not all June Cleaver with her. So, clearly, I'm not saying I don't complain at all. I'm just saying I don't make a habit of consistently sitting around wondering what I can complain about next; and you know, there are people who do that.

I think we've all experienced "the complainer" at some point in our lives. Ya know, the one you see and instantly act like you're in to big of a rush to stop and chat. The one your spouse says "what's wrong now?" as soon as you walk away from a conversation with them. Seriously, these people are draining and tiring and need to find something else to talk about! I sometimes wonder if they just have really poor communication skills and they have no idea how to engage in a conversation or maybe it's just a bad habit? I don't know what or why it is; I just know that I try very hard not to be this type of person and to be sure I don't surround myself with these people either. With all of this said, I have to admit that yesterday I was a complainer!

From the start of my day it was bad. Josh is out of town on business, my youngest child's goal right now is to finally send me to the loony bin, I'm not getting a break because of summer vacation and I am admittedly hormonal (not to be mistaken for pregnant...please, please don't start that rumor it wouldn't be good for my weight complex). Let me clarify too (although I almost don't want to say this out loud) many good things happened yesterday. My mom is here visiting, we spent several hours shopping, we got pedicures and I set a hair appointment instead of going with a box color (because remember I learned my lesson?). So, much of my day was good but it felt like most of my day was just plain old terrible, horrible and no good (hmmmm, now that's clever, I should write a children's book or something). I ended up complaining. I actually called my man and vented! I complained about everything from the sun in the day and the moon and stars at night (gosh, I am good, I really should write a children's book.....or we can agree this is starting to look like plagiarism?) oh, boy, did I ever complain! I'm sure my main squeeze was thinking "what in the hell? who is this? was I sober all those years ago when I sealed the deal? what does she want me to do....." and I'm sure many other things he'd probably be willing to tell you. Instead, he listened and he loved me and understood me and showed me compassion and grace and honor and I didn't deserve any of it but he praised me for a job well done and appreciated me for being me. I love that about my guy! He knows how to keep this girl focused on the positives and lifted up so high that I actually believe in myself when the world doesn't.

As I sat here later, still munching on a few left over worms, I realized what an awesome catch I have. I don't acknowledge enough how good I have it and how lucky I am to be married to someone who's life goal is to leave people better. It's what he lives by and I love that he's so genuine about it that I reap the benefits often. I love you Josher, you're my everything!

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater!!

Kids are funny. They take risks and push the line in ways that keep me baffled. For instance, this week EmmaLeigh and Kaidon are enjoying a tennis camp. The coaches are awesome and the kids have thoroughly enjoyed getting out in the warm summer sunshine to burn some energy and tackle a well loved sport. At the end of each three hour day the kids gather all their raffle tickets that they've accumulated for doing whatever great things the coaches caught them doing and they have a fun little prize give away. Now, some of the prizes are insignificant to you or I, but of course the kids adore them, like candy and gum. Still others are much more rewarding like a tennis club bumper sticker (really coveted here amongst the masses as seen HERE) and tennis attire or tennis magazines. Point being, the kids want to get tickets; and even more they want to win!!!

Monday, on the first day of camp as the raffle started many of the tickets being called ended up having no owner. Every now and then, however, a winner would yell out in elation over the winning of yet another piece of Laffy Taffy. I noticed, and clearly all the participants noticed, that this was solely based on the honor system.....you say you win.....you get a prize.....viola' it's a done deal! As time went on and on and on...a boy, we'll call "Drew" ('cause that's his name) would pause look around and then say "that's me!". Again, no questions asked and after winning 5 prizes with only 4 tickets this, Drew, was a lucky little booger don't you think? My kids questioned Drew's honesty. As their mother I challenged them to think better of their peer. "but.....but....but...." were their responses. I have to admit, they had valid reasons to question his integrity and yet, I just wanted them to trust the goodness in human nature.

Tuesday at camp, it was time for the raffle again and again, Drew, would pause and look around before shouting out that it was he who had the winning raffle ticket. Suspicions rose amongst the adults in the crowd, but nothing was said except for the quiet murmurs of "wow, he should buy a Lotto ticket if he's really getting that lucky!" When the next prize announced was going to be a French Open tennis shirt, you could almost feel the air heat up another ten degrees. Low and behold Drew hops up and shouts out "that's me!", when finally to all witnesses silent probing the coach asks for the "winning ticket" to be revealed. Drew blankly looks at his peers, he mumbles around a few pleading "it's me, it's mine, I won, I have the ticket" but amazingly never really even attempts to look down at his numbers. With more probing from the coach, Drew begins to sort through his tickets and comes up empty handed!

Honestly, I felt sort of bad for the little cheater pants! I felt like "wow, public humiliation is the absolute worst", wouldn't you agree? So many times I've been humiliated one way or another in the eye of the public and it never gets easy. I've tripped and fallen countless times, I've gotten frustrated and said nasty things to people who didn't deserve it, I've had to apologize for my child's bad behavior, I've lost a baby who we loved to the core. Some of these things, I couldn't even control; and yet, the humiliation behind them is paralyzing. I felt bad for this child, until the very next drawing where Mr. Cheater pants himself tried the scam again to no avail! The gull of that child! I'd like to hope that if my children were caught cheating they'd feel the pang of embarrassment and shame and remorse enough to wait more than a split second to do it again. There's no telling, but I would hope so.

On the car ride home I had to admit to my kids that they were right. They had definitely spotted a cheater pants. We talked about how winning by cheating never feels as good as really winning at something. We talked about honesty and integrity and how in one split rash decision of greed, they can change how other people judge their character. We talked about how only Drew had the capability to decide how he was going to be viewed by his peers. We talked about how nothing in that whole giveaway was worth jeopardizing how you saw yourself as a human being and unfortunately when you cheat, steal, lie etc. you not only affect those around you but you negatively affect your own self esteem! BUT.....we also talked about how his mom and dad should punish this bad behaviour and in my usual Hunt style here's what each of my kids said:

EmmaLeigh: As my genuinely honest, good natured, selfless girl; she was appalled that Mr. Cheater pants even had the thought to do this. Her idea was each of his honestly earned tickets would need to be dispersed evenly amongst his peers, giving him no chance to lie about winning anymore.

Kaidon: This boy values good, hard work. His idea of a good punishment was that for each prize he had "won" he needed to replace it to the coach with another prize of equal or more value than his cheated prize.

Mihya: Full of grace and a heart for the underdog. Mihya said she would make him give back the things he stole. Then....(because we asked if she thought he would learn his lesson by that minor punishment) she said she would not let him play tennis, he'd have to only be allowed to play other things! (ouch. severe huh?)

Graysie: This is my child who may at times (uhhum) struggle (huh um) with honesty (mmmhuh) herself, said he would get a spanking, owe her chores to pay back the prizes, give away the prizes he still had, be grounded, etc. etc. etc. (Wow! I know what to do for her next laps in judgement now don't I?)

Mikael: My man of many words and great insight said...................(shrug his shoulders)...........(silence).........................(quiet pondering)...............then at last "I don't know". Hopefully Mikael marries a great wife who doesn't mind taking on the role as the "heavy" in his household!

Kayela: Who has found herself in her room more than out of it in this first week of summer break suggested the old tried and true soap in the mouth for lying, spanking on the bottom and a year's worth of grounding! (oh, how that sounds so magical now, until she realizes that when little kids are grounded their mommies are too!)

There you have it, proof that personality does in fact play a role in parenting styles. Can't wait to see how they all do as parents someday!.......PAYBACKS!!

Hero

Well today was the last day of the school year. Another one bites the dust! It was filled with the anticipation much like the first day. Anticipation of change and transition and new and the unknown. Anticipation for everything relaxed and fun and warm in our new city and life. Today is a good day for this mama and for her big stinky kids who just wanna find adventure.

Today was also a very special day because Mihya has been working on a secret project. A project she has put her heart into and stressed over finding the perfect words. A project she has diligently thought about and labored over because it was that important to her. A project she was assigned and in a matter of an instant knew the perfect recipient. Today Mihya gave her "everyday hero" presentation to her peers and to her peers hero's. Today Mihya stood with pride when she introduced her new friends to her everyday hero that she cherishes and watches and mimics each day of her little life. Her hero was unsuspecting. Her hero thought she was going to watch one of her baby sisters graduate from the third grade. Her hero was honored and surprised when she found out their would be a celebration in her honor. I'm predicting this hero will have many celebrations honoring who she is as a person, because she's just that special and she has a way of making every one else who surrounds her feel like they are important.

Here are a few things Mihya had to say about her hero:

My hero is in my everyday life. My hero is a real friend who tells you what is right and what is wrong. My hero is faithful. My hero is always honest. My hero is respectful to others and caring. My hero is loving and is always their for you. My hero is bold and helps me through my big problems. My hero is hardworking and she's a miracle!

I'm pretty confident that Mihya found the perfect words to describe her hero, EmmaLeigh! I am so proud of my girl Mihya who didn't have to pick someone who is rich and famous or sings her favorite song, but instead picked someone who really has meaning in her life!

You two girls make this mama proud and I'm honored to be in the front row of your show!

It's All for the Blog!

My family seems to think they are my agents. No, not just a few of them, ALL of them! Daily I have "suggestions" on blog posts. Daily, I think how in the world would I work that into the blog, let alone make it more than a one liner? Then again, every once in awhile someone says or does something regarding the blog and I think "BRILLIANT! I am SO using that!!" and as you might have guessed this whole post is going to be just that.

When you have six kids, you do things different. You have to in order to survive out there in the trenches of parenthood. Most of what we do is not because we've analyzed and researched some phenomenal parenting method sure to produce happy, functioning, contributing adults. Instead, it is pretty much the game of survivor. "outwit, outlast, outplay" could be the title of a parenting book that I could author on any given day, and I think I am going to embrace it as my own personal style of parenting. When the question pops up "how do you discipline your kids?" My new answer is going to be "Well, we just outwit, outlast and outplay our children.....how about you?". When I say we do things different, I mean most of the things we do are different. We are still bathing our children (although I do take advantage of the showers at the pool or beach when we are done swimming so I don't have 6 kids fighting over hot water), we still have bedtimes (except mine are probably much earlier than yours just because I am worn out much quicker), we still have the kids in sports (but maybe they are not in their first choice because I just can't watch 24 years of the same sport), and we wear clean matching clothes (I just have to be sure I get 3 loads a day done or we might be wearing our undies inside out)....see? We do some of what the rest of the worlds parents do, we just "adapt" accordingly.

This is true for sleep overs too. When we have one extra child spending the night we just go ahead and have everyone invite a friend. It sounds crazy and loud and sleepless...... and. it. is! Although, I've learned to dread the "sleep over" I can't imagine doing it any other way. If we let one at a time have a friend sleep over we'd be doing it for 6 consecutive weeks and by the time the last kid had a friend, we'd be starting the whole cycle over again.......I really don't like other peoples kids that much! REALLY! If they are over 2 years old and I'm not the boss of them, I pretty much don't want them around. So low and behold, we end up with 12 kids in our house about once every couple of months where we can do it up good! The kids can get out games eat lots of candy and stay up late and eat pizza and have donuts for breakfast and get loud and not have sleep and cry over someone looking at them the whole next day! It's a blast, let me tell ya!

Guess what we did this weekend? What? Am I that predictable?

Saturday night we had 11 kids to be responsible for. Only 6 we really liked, but 11 we were in charge of! (I know the math doesn't add up because one of my daughters couldn't invite someone. Because this not-to-be-mentioned kid has had a problem with following the rules and when she gets caught disobeying and in turn gets in trouble she's been peeing. Peeing on things....peeing on lots of things....like anything she can reach her booty over to pee on. So, when it came to inviting friends she didn't have the choice; for obvious reasons. Which I'm sure she has hidden pee somewhere for me to find because she was so mad about that decision. This is clearly not my oldest child, and it's not my boys because they are not my daughters and it's not either of my middle daughters either...but I'm not going to mention WHO it might be that didn't get a friend because how embarrassing for her right? Oh dear, back to blog post....) So, we have this house full of kids, who have lots of energy because they've been about to burst with excitement for days over friends coming and now they are finally here so they can let out this energy. We made personal pizzas on pitas and the kids were scattered all over the place when I decide somehow we've got to wear them out! It's like 7 p.m. and I'm already so tired it's disturbing, and yet, these kids are bouncing off the walls! So I suggest they race. I know "Hunt's" will present in this challenge well because my girl Grays has some skills!

The kids jump on board because the unsuspecting friends think they can beat my girl! I know better than this but I'm just glad to get them sprinting. I want them spread out too, it's not going to be tiring enough to just have them race across the yard a few times, so I have them running from our yard through 3 neighbors yards where Emma is standing as the "finish line". Now, two of the neighbors houses are vacant because they are new builds and aren't yet complete but the last house across has just recently been moved into. We've not yet met the neighbors but no one has fences so it's the perfect place to race....or so we thought! After a few rounds of racing and Josh and I sitting on the back porch so pleased with our energy burning idea Emma brings the finish line one house closer. I holler to her and say "Emma, move back" and she proceeds to tell me "No, the neighbor just yelled at me to stay off their property!" WHAT? The kids can't even run in their grass barefoot? I looked at Josh with my mouth hanging open and said "welcome to the neighborhood, new neighbors" Seriously? I find this really bizarre! They don't have gardens or shrubs or anything but big trees and grass. How in the world would these 11 little kids hurt their grass? I was a bit irritated at the whole issue and found it totally frustrating that seeing us out there they chose to yell at my child instead of coming over and talking to me about whatever issue they had. Instead of marching over there, handing them a beer and telling them to relax I just told the kids to run the same length we had originally planned, just outside their grass on the common area surrounding the pond. Good compromise right? WRONG AGAIN!!!! Now, the husband came to the window and yells out to "get off his property!" and here's where I am so proud of my girl who will not be bullied she answered by (respectfully) saying "Sir, this is the neighborhood property. We are off your grass. (looked back at next racers and yells) GO!" The man proceeded to yell at her from his window to stay out of his yard, and that he would be calling security!!! Yes, he really said that! Josh and I sat on our porch hysterically laughing at what he might tell security when he made the call "ummm...their are neighbor kids playing in the common area" or "These kids are laughing so loud and having so much fun they are disrupting my bad mood". Clearly, we didn't let the kids hear us cracking jokes, but I certainly was not going to make them move their races elsewhere either. There is a good 10 feet of common area behind this particular home that then backs to a pond where people fish all the time. Is he going to kick them out too? C'mon people! I don't know much about Southern hospitality, but I do know these people are probably not from around here!

When the races ended (yes, my girl smoked everyone of those kids) Emma came to talk to us. We got the whole scoop of what our new neighbors said. They told her what we had heard and then she said "when I responded the wife asked 'was that the child or the mother who responded to you that way?' " Funny, how that question even had to be brought up, as if a child can't state to an adult what they know is right. Funny, that seeing us out there they knew they had no right to kick the kids off the common area but thought they could intimidate a child to move. To be quite honest with you, I have no problem with my girl having enough confidence to stand up for what she knows is right. She doesn't need me to fight her battles or to confront a situation head on. When someone is irrational, whether they are an adult or not, I expect my kids to stand firm on what they know is right. I expect them to be polite and respectful, but I expect them also to be socially savvy enough to not come running to me when they have an issue. Obviously, when it went a step further and security did show up I stepped in and took over. (the security guard had a good laugh over the "suspects" since he was told that a "bunch of teenagers" were circling this house....hahaha!). Clearly, security told the man the same thing Emma had, that as long as they got off his property and were just on the common area he would just have to relax. When security left and we finished getting the scoop from Emma, Josh and I told her that she handled it well by letting them know she respected their request to stay off their property but that they would continue to race on the common area. We acknowledged that at 12 years old that could have been a little intimidating and that's when she said "oh, I just was thinking I was giving mom some good blog material!" ....hahahaha! YES, you did. Thanks for the suggestion Emma!

I'm still not convinced I will take all the suggestions for blog posts, but this one just had to be shared!

Writers Block

So, it's been awhile since I've really blogged. It's not because I didn't have things to say, but instead because I didn't want to share the things that have been on my mind. I've been in a miserable state of "it's not fair!!" lately. Yes, like your typical 2-year old tantrum of "it's not fair!!!". Even though my mom was your typical "who ever told you life was fair?" kind of mom, I still revert back to my 2-year old self and want what I want! My mom had several other signature lines (one's I swore as a kid I'd never use and yet maybe just sometimes I slip up and use them on my kids because they are ingrained in the cells of my body) for instance when I'd say "I'm bored" she'd answer by saying "only boring people can get bored" or when I'd say "can I have...." she'd say "someday!"..........uhhhhh I'm still waiting for "someday" mom!!! Now, here I sit, still not understanding why life is not fair!!!

I know you know where I'm going with this. The whole: we loved our baby more than life, had dreams and plans and hope for his future. We were ready for him and waited for him and loved him before he was even in our arms. We saw and felt how "right" he was for us. The "perfect ending" to this family. Our last hoorah, our little man, our passion. I know you know how we felt when we lost him. Like: our world was shattered. Our fear of how the other kids would handle this pain, the loss and absence of Tait's presence. Realizing he was never really "our" baby. The anger surrounding the social services system and the confusing question that can never be answered, "who is the systems best interest for anyway?" I know the things I haven't shared but have felt to my core like: how can people still be laughing, we lost a baby! why are you reacting like it's not as hard since he was adopted instead of biological, we still lost our baby? If the flowers that just bloomed in your garden come up missing, it's only because I can't see this world as "pretty" right now. No, I don't care about all the milestones your baby is hitting and I don't care where you got his/her latest adorable outfit! ....... Yes, I know I've shared, thought, and felt these things until you don't want to hear and read about them anymore and yet......it's all I can think about to write. It's an official writers block.

Funny, how I can think of nothing to say and yet.....

Josh: Loves his job and although I practically throw up in my mouth every time he says it, daily he states "I love it here, this is the best thing we've ever done!" and nauseatingly I have to agree.

EmmaLeigh: Just had soccer try-outs and made one of the best competitive teams here for her age group.

Kaidon: Has found out that Tennis comes naturally to him and he spends more time practicing and playing than he does any other thing right now.

Mihya: Is still strumming away on her guitar and can harmonize with her daddy so well that often our home is filled with her beautiful happy voice. She is also thrilled that she was accepted into an all girls class for next year (a fit for such a princess as she).

Graysie: Just finished her season with swim team and much to our surprise backstroke was her best event and she even took second place at her last meet.

Mikael: Also, just finished the season of swim team and improved more than I could have ever imagined on the first day when he belly-flopped into the pool. He proved the saying "where there's a will, there's a way" because odds were definitely against him. He even took 4th in one event at his last meet and was full of pride!

Kayela: Can read and write like a 1st grader now that she is finished with Kindergarten:) Her vocabulary is still progressing at lightening speed much to our dismay.

As for me....I've signed up for nursing school and am thrilled to be starting another chapter in my life. I'm running like a hyena training for a marathon in December and I've read more books in two weeks than I have in the 3 months since we've moved here. I'm planning on doing my own "reviews" when I don't have my nose in the pages.

So, I guess I shouldn't have writer's block with so much to say but maybe when "someday" comes I will have more on my mind than losing the sweetest guy who completed this family.

SWAGGER WAGON

Imagine.....

all the fun Toyota would have with MY ride!!!

Enjoy!

Happy Mothers Day.....LATE!!!

CLICK HERE FOR YOUR MOTHER'S DAY GIFT

I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

Occupied!

First of all, thank you for all the book suggestions! Look at what I got:

I had so many suggestions and the variety was amazing! I ended up with a little of everything but honestly I did not get ALL the books on the list just yet. I left out a suggestion for the Emily Griffin books, but I am definitely planning on reading those too! The most suggested book I got was The Help (click to see the Synopsis) so I started reading that one last night. I have to say, it is starting out very good. Funny, how I just moved to the South and was hit with that New York Times best seller! Also, picked up South of Broad by a local author and it's all about my new city! Can't wait to read that one. Thanks Again for all your help, hope some of you check these out and end up with a new book that interests you.

Foto Friday #8

My whole gang on our front porch.

Also, a big thanks to every one who gave me book suggestions! I have a huge list to choose from now. I will post it for all to see soon, just in case you are looking for a good read!

SHOCKING!!!

P.D. loves being the protector. I think in some ways he gets a thrill out of the fact that he makes people run in fear. Remember when you were a kid and you'd do things to make people flinch and you'd get to punch them? (OK, maybe that was just MY game) Well that is what stage P.D. is in right now. He thinks the flinch factor is exhilarating. He's a big lover and has the Boxer bend down perfectly, but any innocent passerby would never know that by his big bark and raised neck hair.

Everyday, people walk by our house and everyday P.D. lets them know who. exactly. is. the. boss! He stands tall and proud on our front or back porch scanning the distant horizon for any sign of life. When he spots it, he sends a low growl without ever opening his mouth. As his prey comes nearer he's bounding over soccer balls and sticks that adorn our lawn on most days and at his top speed races to greet the intruder with his loudest bark. Depending on the day and my mood, depends on how I handle the situation. Admittedly, I am a better parent than I am dog owner because it's hard to be consistent when their innocent eyes are not understanding what in god's name you are saying and why can't they attack the intruder?

What you have to understand is that we have an electric fence. Our whole property is lined with an invisible zone that P.D. dares not cross or he will be zapped. I know, I know it sounds horrible but we have no fence and in order to keep them safe, we are willing to torture them for the week of training so they learn how to stay within their boundaries. I understand that no one can see the fence but c'mon wouldn't you think that day after day of seeing a dog dart at you full speed and then stop abruptly at the same point would tell you that "gee, either the dog is really trained well and I don't need to panic or hmmm…they must have an invisible fence?". It would me! Some people are just not that observant though and so most days I am left to hollering out my front or back door reassurances that today at this moment is not going to be the moment they are losing their lives.

On days when I am feeling more social I will holler out to the passerby and say "oh, he won't get you!" and smile and wave. On days when I'm PMSing I pace around my house ranting things to myself under my breath like "f-ing people why do you insist on walking by everyday? If you can't walk for more than a block without picking up the rat you have on the end of the leash then I suggest you stay inside!". When I'm in my "getter done" mode I ignore the fact that my dog is disrupting the peace and am secretly grateful that the dog hair and wet paws are out of my house for even just a minute. Most days I double over in a fit of laughter at the sight of people who jog by and mumble profanities all the while intermittently shooing P.D. away. For some reason I get all pissed off though when people stop in front of the house and continue to yell "go home!" uuuummmm…he IS home…you're not, keep it moving you have a New Year's resolution to fulfill! On days like today when two walkers with their little doggy were happily walking by until P.D. rushed them from behind, I hide behind my curtains until they are gone and then I quietly call P.D. in and hold onto him until they are out of sight. Sometimes I'm feisty (imagine that!) and I will see people who are clearly dog lovers with their little foo foo all dressed up in sparkles and I say things like "don't worry about him he's got a REALLY powerful shock collar on that will drop him in no time if he crosses the boundary…have a good walk" they look in horror at me as they keep walking briskly by. Funny, those ones rarely walk by again!….OK, OK, I don't really do that last one but I seriously think about it! I'd love to see their "flinch" on that one!

So, right about now you are wondering why I don't just keep my guard dog from going outside right? Well, here's the kicker! Boxers are smart! Boxers are crafty! Boxers can open doors! Or at least mine can. So as I would love to keep him inside, I can't. He doesn't function like that. If he wants out, he goes! If he wants in, he comes. Yes, every type of door this guy can open up. Oh, lock it you say? Nope, he can pick the lock of any door. He was first trained to ring a hanging bell to go out, now he rings the bell and opens the door himself. I guess with 6 kids, he got tired of waiting. I'm pretty proud that I've raised such an independent dog. It's pretty amazing. I forget how unusual this is until people are over and want to see it again and again and again!

Anyway, I guess the neighbors are going to have to get used to this guy thinking he's tough. I wish they could see how proud he was when they left though, here is a peek at what I see once he's chased away the danger. He's getting ready to open the front door and share the good news with me:

Phase II

I've now entered phase 2 of parenting. It's kind of like entering the twilight zone but a whole lot more scary, filled with much less predictable endings.

It all pretty much happened at the same time that we moved to SC. We lost our precious baby boy, and Kayela went from half days to full days. I am now being left for hours on end with no supervision kids to tote around. Something about the move also made everyone pull together and grow up much more quickly than I anticipated. It's so funny because I feel like my days are long and yet my years are short. Does that make sense at all? These kids are in routines and have spread their wings and I am left wondering where my screaming bipolar toddlers chubby dimpled hand toddlers are. I am realizing we are in Phase 2 of this whole parenting timeline. No more are the days when at the end I am still un-showered wondering where the time went and why my "to do" list has only gotten longer. I am liking this phase, it's just crazy how fast it has snuck up on me and I wish I could have told my phase 1 self to relax a little more and enjoy the chaos of it all.

Now that I've officially crossed into this new phase riddled with lots of down time followed up by too much togetherness, I need something to do! I need to read a good book that doesn't have anything to do with potty training, speech development and parenting the RAD child. I am a picky reader though so I like real life. I don't like romance (I have all the romance one girl needs at this point…puke…but true!) I could use a little self help I'm sure, but I live with the all time motivator of life so I'm pretty fulfilled there. I need a book I can sink into and devour and feel rejuvenated after reading it….and then I'll need another and another and another….you get the point right? So, please send me your book ideas. I don't care if you send them via facebook, or blog commenting or email or phone call…I'm just desperate and I need a few good books! If your grandmother sent you a book that you aren't going to have time to read give me the title I'll read it for you and give you an overview so you can thank her….at this point I am open to pretty much anything! Just get me a good book!

Until then, I will be wandering aimlessly throughout my house pretending like I have enough to do to keep me out of trouble occupied for 9 hours a day/5 days a week. OR…you can find me on facebook!

I AM NOT DEAD!

I know many of you think I am dead. Had it not been for my facebook updates you'd really be worried. Just to confirm......I am alive!

We always get extremely busy at this time of year. We are overloaded with plans for summer and thoughts of swimming pools, hiking, camping and now BEACHES!! It's no different this year, except that we live in a vacation hot spot and are witnessing all kinds of tourists on vacations that we so desperately are grasping at taking ourselves. Our weekends are filled with last minute school projects and honestly everything takes us about twice the amount of time to complete just because we are in the "lazy days of summer" mode. I am one of those crazy moms who loves her kids being at home. I look forward to school breaks and days off with as much anticipation as I look forward to Christmas.

This is also the time of year when all the sports seem to overlap. Right now the only one not participating in some form of activity is Kayela. That leaves Emma in soccer, Kaidon in tennis, Mihya in guitar, Graysie and Mikael on swim team, little time for mommy to breath, and the gas budget going up immensely! I love that they have their "thing" and I get to slow down and watch them excel. It helps me point out their uniqueness and focus on them individually, so I can't complain. Plus, they sleep really good which is always a bonus.

In the past couple of weeks we've had out of town guests (again!). Amanda, Graysie's birth mom, and her husband and kids came to visit for a week. We went to the strawberry festival, made strawberry jam, made more bows for our girls, dropped the ball on our blog, shopped, walked the Ravenel bridge and pretty much just hung out and visited. I will only speak for myself when saying that I stayed up way too late most nights and got up early so I was wiped out by the end of their visit. I hated that they had to go and the week seemed to go by too fast, always does when we have guests.

Kaidon has gotten spoiled by our new neighbors. He has adopted them as his second home and family. He loves their son, Ryan, and would be perfectly content to stay with them for eternity if we'd let him. He has been boating with them several times and comes home with some great stories. Actually, one day we were all in a depression because Kaidon was on their boat watching the blue angels! We were not! We thought about grounding him just because we were mad, but then we realized that would not help our pleas for him to spend time with us. Glad he has made friends, even more glad that they are great people!

Yesterday we all went boating with some friends. We had such a blast. Ironically, we drove to the boat ramp where we piled our giant family into the boat with coolers, towels, and anything else we'd need to survive the day and then proceeded to boat right past the front of our house. We don't have a dock so it's the only way to do it, but it just seemed a little strange when technically we should be able to be picked up at our front door. Maybe our neighbors across the street will let us hitch a ride from a friend every once in awhile at their boat dock? Wonder what it would take to work out that deal? I'll look into it and get back with all of you on that one. We had a blast on the tube and boat and to prove I am going to have another birthday and am not getting any younger, I am very sore. Josh however is not because he wouldn't dare be out of control on a tube.

Next up for us? My parents are coming to stay the week next Tuesday. It just happens to be my birthday (even at age 30-something my parents can't miss my birthday). It will be my dads first time to see the house and our surroundings. I'm thrilled to be "tour guide Ambyr" for the week again. The kids will still be in school so we will have plenty of time to do adult-exploring-touristy stuff before they come home and take all the attention away from me...Oh...I mean...get to spend time with their grandparents.

I'm planning to get the heck outta dodge in August. I've heard it's close to the temperature in hell here at that time so I am not wanting to subject myself to that one. I'll be spending as much of the month in Colorado as we can before school and sports start back up. I'm hoping to see everyone and taxi the kids all over town to get in as much friend time as possible. I say that now, but I'm not sure how long I'll survive without Josh so I'm leaving it an open-ended trip. It's one of the few benefits of taking the 27 hour drive across country with 6 kids.....we have the freedom to come and go as we please, no deadlines or flights to catch.

Once I Caught My Hair on Fire!

In 1999 Josh and I bought our first house. It was in a great neighborhood, centrally located, the perfect size for a family with two kids and a dog, a wonderful floor plan and beautifully decorated. More than all that, it was a dream come true! We finally owned a house after 4 years of marriage and two kids later.

I spent forever planning and decorating this house. I considered every color of paint and each swatch of wallpaper. Josh and I and some of our friends spent countless hours putting all the pieces together. I custom ordered furniture to fit in each quaint little room. When the people from the sales office stopped by one day and saw the interior of our home they asked if they could feature our home on the builders website. Of course I was proud and thrilled to let them in with their cameras to film, and up on the website we went. With all of that said, I was most intrigued with the idea of my 5-piece bathroom and jetted tub. I had imagined sitting in a big bath full of bubbles with lit candles all about just getting away from it all. I thought I'd soak and relax and come out a different woman.

When my plans finally played out and the house was finished and I actually could muster up enough energy at the end of the day to be able to do just that, I did! I soaked in the tub and lit candles and relaxed. Some days I'd soak with my eyes closed until the water got cold enough to kick me out on it's own. Other days I'd soak with a good book or parenting magazine. I have many water soaked pages of books to prove I had numerous chances to relish in my bathtub. One evening while settling down before bed, I lit my candles, poured in the bubbles, started the jets and hopped in. I could vaguely hear Josh across the hall in our office on the phone with a client. I eased down and closed my eyes. In just a matter of minutes I could smell some awful smell. It was distinct, unlike the scent of a relaxation candle and when my eyes opened and I saw my reflection in the glass of the shower doors, I realized MY HAIR WAS ON FIRE! Shear panic swept over my recently relaxed body and I was flooded with the emotion of how bad this could really get. I realized how awful this could turn out. I realized that holy hell, this is not good! All that emotion lasted a split second before I was awakened to the fact that I am sitting in a tub of water and can be rescued! I can fix this problem by just dipping under the water and it can be all over. I realized it's not what I planned to do in this moment, it's not what I wanted but I have a way out and some help on the way so for that I have a sense of relief. I have a sense of relief although I also fear for what the outcome could still be. Obviously, I still have hair so I needed to not have the fear, I survived the emotional turmoil and even have a great story to share.

Right now, our family is dealing with some harsh realities. Some harsh realities that we've been dealing with since September 29, of 2005. That is the exact date that two of our children joined our family. They were 2 and 3 and had been in terrible situations their entire little lives. That is the date where everything changed. We had hopes of things going smoothly and blissfully living happily ever after. We had dreams of another male figure in our home and the dynamics that male presence would bring to our family. We had ignorant visions of all adoptions going as smoothly as our first one. We unfairly grouped all kids in the category of "as long as you shower them with enough love, they can heal and love back". Just like our first home, I had spent forever planning for their arrival, dreaming of what was to come. Over analyzing every part of the process and meticulously filling out piles of paperwork. Josh and I spent countless hours over what we could do for a child needing a loving home and what they in turn could do for our family. What we got has not been so easy. What we got, frankly has been very hard and recently we have discovered the "name" for what we got. See here to learn about some of what we have experienced or if you have adopted children you are struggling with. (Now, I do not recommend just looking at a website for diagnosing children AT ALL! Please seek a professional if you have a child you think may fall into one of these categories.) We are in the process of getting our two kiddos into counseling and some help for the rest of us who have endured more than we've played off for the last (almost) 5 years. I'm laying all of this out here finally not because I need sympathy or as an "I told you so" to the people who kept telling me that they saw nothing wrong with my kids who I knew were "off" somehow, but instead, because just recently I have encountered several situations where people have said "Well, you don't understand because your adoptions have gone perfectly.". I felt deeply saddened over these comments. I let them slide but was secretly screaming inside at the flippant attitude I'd been given for 4 1/2 years of struggle and then later when I was alone it dawned on me...."This is MY problem! This is NOT any one trying to be rude or harsh! This is MY issue, I haven't been honest with people" . In my attempts to not have people harshly judging my children, pointing a negative finger at adoption, or labeling our family; I have inadvertently lied to people. For that, I am sorry! I am coming clean now. This is hard, this is really, really hard and we've all paid a big price for what I know long term will all be worth our efforts. I have to keep hoping that, otherwise I am sure I would have given up!

Why my hair story? Well, now that we are making steps in the right direction. Proper steps to help cope with what we've been dealt. I am at that same emotional point when I realized my hair was on fire and yet I was sitting in a tub of water. Right now I'm at the same point when shear panic has swept over my recently relaxed body and I am flooded with the emotion of how bad this could really get. I'm realizing how awful this could turn out. I'm realizing that holy hell, this is not good! All that emotion lasted a split second before I was awakened to the fact that I am not the only one who's been through this and there are therapists out there and we can be rescued! I can ease the burden of this overwhelmingly difficult problem by just seeking help. It will never fully go away I'm sure, but our silent struggle of trying to "go it alone" will no longer burden Josh and I. I've realized it's not what I planned to do in this moment, it's not what I wanted for our family but I have some help on the way, so for that I have a sense of relief. I have a sense of relief, although, I also fear for what the outcome could still be. Our family is going to survive this, and in the end we will have a great story of survival and hope to share.

Thank you, for all the encouraging words from the people I actually have shared our struggles with. Plus, a special thanks to Laura, who opened my eyes to the fact that people struggle and there's such a burden lifted when things are out in the open. You've been an amazing leaning post lately. For those of you who need someone who "gets" it in your life, I am here for you. Trust me, you have not done, said or thought anything that I myself have not in the past 4 1/2 years. I understand, I really "get" it and I want and need people in my life who are on this journey with me. Good news is.... all of us RAD moms are sitting in a big tub of water and even though our hair is on fire, in the end we'll have some pretty fascinating stories to share!

Slacker

OK, so I know I have been a total slacker when it comes to my blog. I really have had some good intentions too BUT every time I've sat down to blog I get all caught up in some one else's blog and then don't have time for my own! Now, I am finally going to dive in to my life.

We had Jordan and Megan visit for a week. I had a lot of fun, and not really sure what the week would bring before it all started I must admit (for me personally) it turned out to be amazing! Although Josh worked most days Jordan, Megan and I did a lot of exploring. I finally got to check out Boone Hall and it was really fascinating actually. If you're planning on having a little visit out to the "Hunt's new reality" anytime soon, which I am encouraging y'all (I'm embracing the accent, just announced it a few weeks ago to the kids) to do, be ready to go see Boone Hall. It cracks me up a little bit because in all the fliers and brochures they describe Boone Halls claim to fames as the place North and South was filmed, the notebook and........Wheel of Fortune! hahaha! Megan and I had a good laugh over that one. Anyway, we not only saw Boone Hall but drove endlessly exploring, found some great places to eat, walked King street, visited the Old Market, took the trolley by the battery, saw the beautiful houses on Broad street, and had some lazy time at the beach. It was a great visit.

I had to add this picture of this guy. One afternoon while driving down the road, we came upon this guy who was (before we creeped him out by snapping photos) headed down the middle of the highway! Emma announced "That had to be a dare!", I rolled my window down, Jordan hung his camera out and we got this perfect shot of this hot rod adorned with ski goggles and all! It so reminded me of the scene in Dumb and Dumber when they are headed to Vail, Co on a scooter!

Now, I'm single momming it this week. Thursday Josh left for Denver and stayed until early Sunday morning. While there he did get to see this guy:

Yes, I am jealous but thank goodness for Ichat because we all got to see and talk to the little man and he got to see us too. He wasn't quite sure how he could all of a sudden interact with the T.V. but he stayed engaged the whole time we chatted. Josh took him for another haircut and out to eat. He gave him a sucker and some ice cream. Josh told me he felt like a grandparent who gets to have all the fun, sugar them up and hand them back off. I guess we are trying to make the best out of the worst case scenario of adoption!

After leaving Denver Josh headed to Austin for business until Thursday. He tries to spend time with Gary and Angela (Josh's good friend from way back when) each time he goes and again although I am jealous I'm glad he got this time. I am hoping he invited them out to spend some time with us. Our families are both big and fun and love each other so I know it would be nothing but non-stop chaotic laughs! A bonus this trip was that Josh's other good friend, Joel, from long ago was there visiting Gary and Angela so he spent time with him too. Did I mention how I am jealous?

Well, next big adventure? Graysie's birth mom and her family are coming for a visit on Saturday! We can't wait. I'm sure we are going to have a great visit and do lots of exploring. They are joining us on Sunday for Josh's birthday and the Boone Hall Strawberry festival! A couple summers ago Amanda and I bought all the girls matching strawberry outfits. She bought Sophie's in a 2t even though she was an infant and guess what? Just so happens that Sophie can now wear it and the Strawberry festival is happening. It's like we planned it.....except we didn't so it's even better!

That's all the new news from this blog slacker!

Laugh or Cry? I chose....laugh!

So I know it's been awhile since I've blogged. Do not be fooled, this does not mean that nothing has been happening!

Just a few days ago, Josh and I and our herd of kids went into Target. I had a few items to pick up and Mihya had a gift card she got for her birthday that was burning a hole in her little pocket. Josh, being brilliant like he is, came up with a phenomenal plan to "split up". Immediately I cringed because if past experiences predict my future I already know this can be nothing but bad. Being the personality type that he is, Josh proceeded with his own plan because that is what he had in his mind. Not only do we split up but I end up with Mrs. ADD, the human megaphone, and chatty Cathy!! How is it that Josh can always maneuver it so that he ends up with the servant hearted, Mrs. extreme cautious and the mute? I don't know, but I knew I had gotten the shaft from the beginning. I smiled, he smiled and we went our separate ways.

Josh headed down the isle with his troop toward the little girls section or CD's so Mihya could spend her loot. I browsed around with my gang looking for some plain t-shirts to sweat around the house in. I was pretty much just leisurely walking through as the three stooges picked things up they thought I should be buying. Some of the things I agreed with and put in my cart, some of the things I am appalled by and some of the things I'm laughing inside trying to picture myself wearing. Then, I took my gang to the area in the store that most moms are cautious to avoid with children.....the bra and under wear section. I know, I know I sound insane but this was one of the reasons I came in the first place. I needed some new unders that weren't expensive for reasons no man reading this blog wants to hear about concerning a certain time of month. Now, Josh knew this was my plan going in so I am sure this played a big role in why he left me high and dry with three out of six kids (I guess I should thank him that he didn't bail on me with all six?). I start scoping out the ones that would be best for the purpose I need them to serve and just as I start to get really focused on my task at hand chatty Cathy picks up a pair of thong under wear over her head, hands on each side string and says "what are THESE for?" I chuckle a bit at the predicament that I am in and say "without those straps the panties cannot stay up." With that Mrs ADD is trying to melt into the ground and the megaphone is yelling "put those down, why are you holding those in the air?" I of course am laughing a bit harder now and say to all of them "it's ok, come help me find some cute panties" when chatty Cathy proceeds to enquire about what she is holding above her head "yes, but see how they are so little? why are they so little? are these panties for mommies or for little girls? You have some of these don't you mommy? I like yours. (turning to a young mom standing by) don't you like these? My mommy is going to buy some more panties today. Do you get this kind? (off subject) I like your baby. See all these panties over here? They have all kinds of decorations on them over here. Mommy, do you need more of these kinds of panties or the ones that have a big butt spot?......" on and on she went, because as you know when you pull the string....she will talk!! I am now laughing at the innocent women with infants in their carts who really have no clue what the next 18 years will be bringing them. One actually has the nerve to say "oh, I can't wait for that stage" I respond by saying "trust me, you can!". I get everyone refocused on my "life size" panty purchase and high tail it out of the panty section as soon as my selections are made, a relief for Mrs. ADD and myself.

Just when I think things could not get worse, I head with my troop to the fitting room. No, I'm not trying on my granny panties, but I am going to try on the few items that ended up in my cart before hand. All four of us squeeze into the cramped space intended for one and I start trying on clothes. Of course they each have something to say as each new item gets put on and I check it out in the mirror. I don't really know why I felt inclined to try these clothes on in the first place. For starters, I am buying things to stay home and clean the house in and worse case they are to small and I'm out a whole $2. Anyway, i am here trying on clothes with three kids in a Target dressing room when I pull out a pair of shorts one of my assistants had put in the cart. If you've seen me at all you know that I am not lacking curves on the bottom portion of my body. In fact, I am quite curvy and admittedly have no idea how most of my jeans ever fit around my waste after having to make it up and around the lower region. I really do like the shorts though and think that for what its worth I am going to try them on. Well, I have six eyes watching me, and I think somehow subconsciously I had forgotten that. So, I step into the jeans when out from the quiet fitting room my human megaphone announces "I do not think those are going to fit you mom!" I give my crustiest "lower your voice!" look in her direction when chatty Cathy starts in "are you sure that's your size? that doesn't look like your size. Emma, did you get her the wrong size? wow, I think those are to little and you should get some other ones. ......" At this point I am standing straight up with the much too small shorts around my ankles with a horrified "oh. my. gosh.......I can't believe this is happening" look directed right at Mrs. ADD who is folded over in a gut wrenching fit of laughter. My human megaphone and chatty Cathy continue their ramblings while ADD and I get to laughing so hard, we cannot even speak. I'm serious, I don't know exactly how long this went on but I felt like it was ages. I felt like they had high tea and scones while commentating on my disastrous choice of short size......but I could not speak!! Other snickers started coming from several of the dressing rooms and with that ADD and I laughed harder and more uncontrollably. As we laughed harder megaphone and chatty enquired more about the situation at hand. Ramblings such as "how are you going to pull them up? Are they stuck down there? Are you SURE that's your size? Mom. Mom. Mom (while being patted) Maybe they mixed up the tags...." Finally, I regained control, gave some short "thank you for your insight" answer, picked up the items I'd be purchasing and swiftly exited the dressing room. We were promptly greeted by Josh and his relaxed group where I told him "we need to go and we need to go fast, I have no idea who was in there but I promise you it would embarrass you if it is someone you know from the office so let's get a move on!"

I'm still smiling about how funny it all was. I'm secretly (although mortified at times) grateful that we have such a quirky, even obnoxious at times, family. I can't imagine having a family that never laughed together. So, when many people would curl up in a ball and cry, I'm going to chose to laugh at all these wonderful memories of childhood innocence.......and share them with you, so hopefully you can laugh too!

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Foto Friday #6

I once heard a comedian talk about women and their purses. She talked about how you can tell a lot from a person by their purse choices. I fell somewhere between the girl scout (always prepared) to the indecisive (always changing). I actually typically use a gallon sized Ziploc bag (give or take a gallon sized Ziploc bag) with all the things I could ever possibly maybe need if I got caught in a tsunami and was stranded under rubble for a month was out an about with six kids. I move this bag (or bags, if Josh ends up verifying the information) from purse to purse depending on my mood or the color of my outfit. Well, once Tait came and I was back to carrying a diaper bag I ended up moving my Ziploc bags to a backpack and leaving it in the car. Since then, I've been really bad at changing my purse out too and so I bought a purse that will pretty much go with everything. Well, I decided to clean that purse out and when I started to do it, after not doing it since we've moved......uhhhh...9 weeks ago I thought to myself "I'm sure the readers want to know what is in my purse" and even if you don't that's too bad, because that is what this foto Friday is all about!

The purse:

wallets...a necessity!

an envelope with a tuft of Taits hair from his first hair cut

hand sanitizer...can't ever be too clean

samples of shampoo.....you never know when you might need to stop at the gas station and do a cleansing treatment

receipts that I opted "to keep with me" instead of "in the bag"

a love note from my mister

a mysterious car lighter

a book I picked up yesterday for Josh...I'll be sure to let everyone know how THAT works out!

gum, gum, and more gum....that I didn't know I've had

chapstick in any flavor or brand you so chose

spare change roaming around the bottom of the purse

Easter cards to be mailed out for my nieces and nephews and of course for Tait

brochures of things we've done, are planning to do, or looked like we should do

a slew of bouncy balls...... because.....Josh wanted red! When I got the red one he was determined to get himself one.

the name says it all.....they're handy wipes

How in the world did all of this fit in there? I'm a professional!

Clearly, I haven't gotten to the chapter in this book(that was also in my purse) that tells you not to display the contents of your purse because frankly....PEOPLE DON'T CARE!!

warning: You should not try this at home. Side effects include but are not limited to: bad back, frustration from your husband when he's looking for something and you announce "it's in my purse" , kids who think you are the keeper of all of their things, strain on cashiers as you cannot find your wallet but you know "it's in here", stares and whispers when things are falling out of your purse as you search for your keys in a parking lot. All contents listed above are verifiably true to be taken from the inside of said purse.