Car Art

We noticed right away when we moved here that people use bumper stickers to distinguish their hunk-a-junk from every other car on the road. I don't just mean a bumper sticker here or there either...I mean they decorate their cars with these things! It's a little over the top if you ask me, but I like it!

I'm not sure of the real reason behind the bumper stickers. I have a few ideas of my own, consisting of irritating the neighbors with political views and in-laws to name a few. While driving down the road I can tell who's children go to what school, what activities they enjoy, where they go to church and who they voted for in the last presidential election. Like in any aspect of life, some people go further than others as far as what they are willing to share with any innocent passer by. What church do you go to? There's a bumper sticker! What beach do you prefer? There's a bumper sticker! Is the president doing a good job? There's a bumper sticker! What city do you live in? There's a bumper sticker! Do you prefer Piggly Wiggly over Harris Teeter? There's a bumper sticker! Did your child get beat up last week? There's a bumper sticker! Is your house going into foreclosure? go ahead, get the bumper sticker! Lost five pounds, gained ten more? Here's a bumper sticker for you!

Here are some examples:

Knowing that I have six very different children I was thinking of what their future cars will look like and here's what I've come up with:

Emma: She will have a great looking car on the outside and yet when she opens the doors things will come piling out. As she tries to sit in her seat she will have to move all the junk, including but not limited to, all her clothes that she's "misplaced" in the last month and any "important" documents she needs. Her bumper stickers will be falling off. Although I am sure they will be important women's rights issues, no one will be able to read them because she didn't want to take the time while putting them on to clean the surface of the car first.

Kaidon: His car will be a rough and tough boy toy! It will be perfectly spotless on the inside even though at any given point you could probably fall through the rusted floor. He will want something he can find adventure in, because as we all know, adventures out there! He will have very few bumper stickers, but the ones he is willing to share he will die by.

Mihya: Mihya's car will be whatever has the highest safety ratings at the time she purchases it. She won't care how it looks as long as she knows she could drive off a cliff and walk out alive. Her car will be tattered with bumper stickers protecting the environment and protecting animals. She will have them perfectly placed so that none of them obstruct her view while she's driving.

Graysie: She will not have a car unless it sparkles and shines. Her interior will probably be hidden under fuzzy pink seat covers. Her steering wheel will be bedazzled along with anything else she thinks isn't sparkling enough. Her bumper stickers will be to accessorize the color of her car, she wont even care what they actually say. I'm sure she will have a custom paint job so that she can stand out amongst all the other cars on the road.

Mikael: He will have a car that is the most practical. His oil will be changed and tires rotated at the precise mile the dealer recommends. He probably wont subject his car to the infantile bumper sticker for fear his views may change and he'd possibly have to explain "why" to someone. He may look in every gas station, visitors center, or anywhere else bumper stickers are sold but he would never actually commit and buy one.

Kayela: Kayela will probably not have a car because she'd prefer to hitch a ride with a friend or ride the light rail so she could have someone to talk to. If she did go ahead and purchase a car it would just have a big custom window art covering the entire back window that simply read: Call me at 123-4567 I NEED TO TALK!!

And....In our attempts to fit in, here is the start of my collection. Can you "uncover" anything about us?