Thursday, January 21, 2010

That, I understand!
So, their are times when I am up late enough to watch the old episodes of Seinfeld. I just love Seinfeld and the raw truth that is "uncovered" during each show. The presentation of each life lesson is so hysterical that their are times when I have to pause the t.v. and catch my breath! Seriously, I don't know if I think it's funny because I have lived out some of the drama presented or if it's just that I am up late and slap happy! Either way, I just can't make it through a show without wiping tears of laughter off my face! More often than not, I am laughing alone in bed with a very annoyed sleeping husband. To me, it's worth every frustrated grunt that comes from his side of the bed!

I watched a hilarious episode a few nights ago that I don't ever remember watching before. Every now and then I come across a "forgotten or missed" episode and I have a whole new remorse for Seinfeld not running anymore. So, This particular show Elaine was dating a new guy. She went and borrowed his car and was horrified at the realization that all of his radio stations were pre-programmed to christian radio. Her facial expression was priceless and inevitably she ends up sitting down with Jerry and George to discuss this new found dilemma in her life. Jerry comes up with "well, it's probably just a new car and he hasn't gotten around to reprogramming the stations" Elaine says, elated "Right! because he's lazy!!" George gives his two cents worth of "Or...he might not know how to program them" Again, Elaine is thrilled at the fact that this could be true and says "Yes! because he's dumb!" Jerry then proceeds to say to Elaine " You'd rather be dating someone who is lazy and stupid than someone who is religious?" Of course Elaine gives her best "DUH" expression and says "Well, yes, I understand lazy and stupid! I don't get religion". That's when the audience roars with laughter and that's where my wheels started turning......

It was a good point don't you think? Since everything I do revolves around parenting that's where my mind went first. With parenting, there are times when I understand what my kids do....I just don't get it! The funny thing is, that I think my kids are confused at how I can go from an intelligent human being and then all of a sudden my brain freezes and they are left with a mom that has no common sense at all. Really, I will ask questions like "what are you doing?" as they are drawing pictures on the mirror because it's fogged up. They look at me a little puzzled and proceed to answer me by saying "drawing on the mirror because it's all fogged up" or how about when I ask "Did you just draw on that?" pointing to the leather van seat with their name in their hand writing written on it. They almost pause a little as if they think "hmmmm....she's asking........ this must mean that she doesn't know it was me". No.....you see the point is, I understand what they have done, I just don't get it!

Same is true with my kids. When the roles are reversed their are things that my kids understand about me, but they just really don't get! This was very clear when Josh received a "mom quiz" on facebook a while back. The quiz was set up to see how much you really knew about your mom. (I guess facebook now creates surveys for our parents so that when we fail miserably and forget to call our moms on their birthdays they have one more thing to throw at us ".....and....you don't even appreciate me, you failed the 'how much do you know your mother' quiz on facebook!"....that's my theory at least). Of course we had some fun with it and asked Kaidon some of the questions just to see how he'd answer. It went something like this:

Josh: what does your mom do most?
Kaidon: clean!
Josh: What does your mom do in her free time?
Kaidon: clean!
Josh: What does your mom do for a living?
Kaidon: clean!
Josh: What is the first thing your mom does when she gets up in the morning?
Kaidon: clean!
Josh: When your mom gets angry, what does she do?
Kaidon: clean!
Josh: What makes your mom frustrated?
Kaidon: When things aren't clean!
Josh: What does your mom LIKE doing?
Kaidon: cleaning!

UH, what? can you repeat that? You see, he clearly understands what I do, he just does not get it! No, he doesn't get that I'd like nothing more than to curl up with a good book in a quiet house that I didn't have to clean. Although....come to think of it, he would understand I was reading but he might just not get why I am reading without being told by my teacher to do so.....what a vicious cycle!



First Haircut
We took our little man to get his first haircut today. Another "first" we got to experience with him. It was an amazing privilege considering the fact that birth mom was the one who suggested we do it. I am entirely impressed by her selfless attitude towards us and her grateful heart for the role that we've played in Tait's life. I'm not sure I would be able to put my feelings aside to acknowledge that someone else has taken the role I so desperately wanted to be to my child. Ironically, I had better get used to that idea because even the thought of Tait not having every need met by our family brings me to my knees! With just a couple days until the final transition, we have added another great memory of our time together.

Here's a fun video of the milestone I'm so thoroughly honored that we were allowed to celebrate with him. Enjoy!

And....The final product! Isn't he adorable?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Martin Luther King Day
As a multi-racial family, it is very important for us to acknowledge this important day. Let's all try to put forth the right attitude that Dr. martin Luther King, Jr. called us to do by not judging people by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.



Sunday, January 17, 2010

Tasmanian Devil
When I was younger I used to watch this cartoon with the Tasmanian devil. It would come into situations when the characters thought nothing more could go wrong and things couldn't get worse, then wreak havoc. It looked like a blurred tornado for the most part but ever so often it would pause, grin and then keep up the destruction.

My life right now feels like I am one of those cartoon characters whose life is being tormented by the Tasmanian devil. Don't get me wrong, things are going really well for us and we are ecstatic about our move and the future for our family. The thing is, we are trying to cram all the things we've put off our whole lives into the next ten days! My house could be featured on one of the TLC or HGTV shows to get organized. I'm waiting for the hazmat team to arrive any day now because my bathrooms haven't seen a sponge in a couple weeks. I know it doesn't sound bad, but trust me when 6 tiny buns are using the bathroom (forgetting to flush more often than not) a couple weeks is like months in a normal household.... it is total mayhem. What I have packed is organized and clean of dust and grime. What I have not packed is all over the rest of the house. With each step, I go in thinking "as soon as I do _______ I will feel so much better about the fast approaching move" and _____ comes and yet things just look and feel worse! A task gets crossed off and another four appear, it's like invisible Tasmanian devil at work.

It's so bad that today leaving Village Inn Josh and I looked at the newspaper vending machine. Front page news was covering the stock show. Cowboy hats, bull riding, sheep shearing fun! Josh looked at me and said "geez, we should really be getting to the stock show!" for a split second, I considered it! I thought "let's see, when can we squeeze that in?" just at that moment a light bulb went off and I realized, the last time we went to the stock show was for a marketing piece we did for our real estate team, which was over four years ago! I looked at Josh and said "why would we do that? We don't even like the stock show, if we did we would have been going every year!". Boy, did we dodge the Tasmanian devil in that situation!

So, here we are, ten days from moving, house in total destruction and a to do list pages long. I am ready and waiting for the Tasmanian devil to stop for a split second and grin so I can take a breath before he starts again.




The Vampire Maid
Hume Nisbet
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Before I arrived at the dismal stage of criticism I hastily packed up my knapsack, and taking the train to Westmorland, I began my tramp in search of solitude, bracing air and romantic surroundings.
Many places I came upon during that early summer wandering that appeared to have almost the required conditions, yet some petty drawback prevented me from deciding. Sometimes it was the scenery that I did not take kindly to. At other places I took sudden antipathies to the landlady or landlord, and felt I would abhor them before a week was spent under their charge. Other places which might have suited me I could not have, as they did not want a lodger. Fate was driving me to this Cottage on the Moor, buy viagra online cheapest
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One day I found myself on a wide and pathless moor near the sea. I had slept the night before at a small hamlet, but that was already eight miles in my rear, and since I had turned my back upon it I had not seen any signs of humanity; I was alone with a fair sky above me, a balmy ozone-filled wind blowing over the stony and heather-clad mounds, and nothing to disturb my meditations.
How far the moor stretched I had no knowledge; I only knew that by keeping in a straight line I would come to the ocean cliffs, then perhaps after a time arrive at some fishing village.
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She was of middle age, and when young must have been remarkably good-looking. She was tall and still shapely, with smooth clear skin, regular features and a calm expression that at once gave me a sensation of rest.
To my inquiries she said that she could give me both a sitting and bedroom, and invited me inside to see them. As I looked at her smooth black hair, and cool brown eyes, I felt that I would not be too particular about the accomodation. With such a landlady, I was sure to find what I was after here.
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She was a widow with one daughter, whom I did not see the first day, as she was unwell and confined to her own room, but on the next day she was somewhat better, and then we met.
The fare was simple, yet it suited me exactly for the time, delicious milk and butter with home-made scones, fresh eggs and bacon; after a hearty tea I went early to bed in a condition of perfect content with my quarters.
Yet happy and tired out as I was I had by no means a comfortable night. This I put down to the strange bed. I slept certainly, but my sleep was filled with dreams so that I woke late and unrefreshed; a good walk on the moor, however, restored me, and I returned with a fine appetite for breakfast.
Certain conditions of mind, with aggravating circumstances, are required before even a young man can fall in love at first sight, as Shakespeare has shown in his Romeo and Juliet. In the city, where many fair faces passed me every hour, I had remained like a stoic, yet no sooner did I enter the cottage after that morning walk than I succumbed instantly before the weird charms of my landlady's daughter, Ariadne Brunnell.
She was somewhat better this morning and able to meet me at breakfast, for we had our meals together while I was their lodger. Ariadne was not beautiful in the strictly classical sense, her complexion being too lividly white and her expression too set to be quite pleasant at first sight; yet, as her mother had informed me, she had been ill for some time, which accounted for that defect. Her features were not regular, her hair and eyes seemed too black with that strangely white skin, and her lips too red for any except the decadent harmonies of an Aubrey Beardsley.
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The loneliness of the moor, with the singing of the ocean, had gripped my heart with a wistful longing. The incongruity of those flaunting and evanescent poppy flowers, dashing the giddy tints in the face of that sober heath, touched me with a shiver as I approached the cottage, and lastly that weird embodiment of startling contrasts completed my subjugation.
She rose from her chair as her mother introduced her, and smiled while she held out her hand. I clasped that soft snowflake, and as I did so a faint thrill tingled over me and rested on my heart, stopping for the moment its beating.
This contact seemed also to have affected her as it did me; a clear flush, like a white flame, lighted up her face, so that it glowed as if an alabaster lamp had been lit; her black eyes became softer and more humid as our glances crossed, and her scarlet lips grew moist. She was a living woman now, while before she had seemed half a corpse.
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I had come here seeking solitude, but since I had seen Ariadne it seemed as if I had come for her only. She was not very lively; indeed, thinking back, I cannot recall any spontaneous remark of hers; she answered my questions by monosyllables and left me to lead in words; yet she was insinuating and appeared to lead my thoughts in her direction and speak to me with her eyes. I cannot describe her minutely, I only know that from the first glance and touch she gave me I was bewitched and could think of nothing else.
It was a rapid, distracting, and devouring infatuation that possessed me; all day long I followed her about like a dog, every night I dreamed of that white glowing face, those steadfast black eyes, those moist scarlet lips, and each morning I rose more languid than I had been the day before. Sometimes I dreamt that she was kissing me with those red lips, while I shivered at the contact of her silky black tresses as they covered my throat; sometimes that we were floating in the air, her arms about me and her long hair enveloping us both like an inky cloud, while I lay supine and helpless.
She went with me after breakfast on that first day to the moor, and before we came back I had spoken my love and received her assent. I held her in my arms and had taken her kisses in answer to mine, nor did I think it strange that all this had happened so quickly. She was mine, or rather I was hers, without a pause. I told her it was fate that had sent me to her, for I had no doubts about my love, and she replied that I had restored her to life.
Acting upon Ariadne's advice, and also from a natural shyness, I did not inform her mother how quickly matters had progressed between us, yet although we both acted as circumspectly as possible, I had no doubt Mrs Brunnell could see how engrossed we were in each other. Lovers are not unlike ostriches in their modes of concealment. I was not afraid of asking Mrs Brunnell for her daughter, for she already showed her partiality towards me, and had bestowed upon me some confidences regarding her own position in life, and I therefore knew that, so far as social position was concerned, there could be no real objection to our marriage. They lived in this lonely spot for the sake of their health, and kept no servant because they could not get any to take service so far away from other humanity. My coming had been opportune and welcome to both mother and daughter.
For the sake of decorum, however, I resolved to delay my confession for a week or two and trust to some favourable opportunity of doing it discreetly.
Meantime Ariadne and I passed our time in a thoroughly idle and lotus-eating style. Each night I retired to bed meditating starting work next day, each morning I rose languid from those disturbing dreams with no thought for anything outside my love. She grew stronger every day, while I appeared to be taking her place as the invalid, yet I was more frantically in love than ever, and only happy when with her. She was my lone-star, my only joy--my life.
We did not go great distances, for I liked best to lie on the dry heath and watch her glowing face and intsense eyes while I listened to the surging of the distant waves. It was love made me lazy, I thought, for unless a man has all he longs for beside him, he is apt to copy the domestic cat and bask in the sunshine.
I had been enchanted quickly. My disenchantment came as rapidly, although it was long before the poison left my blood.
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I was more than usually fagged out, so that I had only strength enough to remove my boots and coat before I flung myself wearily on the coverlet and fell almost instantly asleep without tasting the nightcap draught that was constantly placed on the table, and which I had always drained thirstily.
I had a ghastly dream this night. I thought I saw a monster bat, with the face and tresses of Ariadne, fly into the open window and fasten its white teeth and scarlet lips on my arm. I tried to beat the horror away, but could not, for I seemed chained down and thralled also with drowsy delight as the beast sucked my blood with a gruesome rapture.
I looked out dreamily and saw a line of dead bodies of young men lying on the floor, each with a red mark on their arms, on the same part where the vampire was then sucking me, and I remembered having seen and wondered at such a mark on my own arm for the past fortnight. In a flash I understood the reason for my strange weakness, and at the same moment a sudden prick of pain roused me from my dreamy pleasure.viagra drug testing
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The vampire in her eagerness had bitten a little too deeply that night, unaware that I had not tasted the drugged draught. As I woke I saw her fully revealed by the midnight moon, with her black tresses flowing loosely, and with her red lips glued to my arm. With a shriek of horror I dashed her backwards, getting one last glimpse of her savage eyes, glowing white face and blood-stained red lips; then I rushed out to the night, moved on by my fear and hatred, nor did I pause in my mad flight until I had left miles between me and that accursed Cottage on the Moor.
THE END
2 RTEXTR*ch

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Court Update
Well today was the last court date for Tait. It is a really bittersweet day for us and our family. The good news is that we still have one more week with our sweet guy, the bad news is that we only get one more week with our sweet guy.

Funny, thinking about court today I was conjuring up all the scenarios that could happen. I was thinking it could be as soon as this evening that they would want him transitioned back home. The thought of that totally stressed me out. Not only is this going to be tough enough but Emma had left directly after school for a weekend retreat and I was sick thinking that she might not get to say goodbye to Tait. So, when I got the call announcing that he was staying until next Friday, I was so thrilled. Strange how much your perspective can change isn't it? When we were first told that it was not looking good for us, it was complete devastation. The attorneys projection of a couple months seemed so daunting and horrifying. I was not sure how we were going to survive this. Now, here we are at the end of the road and I am so grateful that we get a week.

One more week. One more week of wet kisses and a dimpled smile. Yeah for one more week!


Friday, January 15, 2010

Mike Wazowski
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned in my blogs that Josh has a beautiful singing voice. He is amazing and has often been on worship teams and part of quartets, singing in choirs, etc. One time awhile back Josh was asked to sing in church with the choir backing him up. He loved the song choice and was thrilled at the opportunity because this has always been one of his dreams. Josh only had from Tuesday until Saturday to have his song mastered which was a huge challenge considering the fact that he was going to be out of town for two whole days of it on business where he just couldn't be preparing. Although he could have turned it down, he was just to thrilled with the song to be able to say no.

Wednesday evening at music practice Josh clearly did not have his song memorized, given he'd only had it for less than 24 hours. Obviously, it was not a concern though because he still had several days to get it learned. By Saturday at the first service, it was a bit of a dilemma when he still didn't feel confident with his portrayal of the song. So, another worship team member backed him up. Wow, it really sounded so beautiful and they pulled it off without a hitch!

About a week after he sings he's always given a copy of his song. We began to listen to it as we drove home. The song finished and Josh was quiet so I asked how he thought it had sounded. I know Josh is his own worst critic so I wasn't expecting him to give me positive feedback, although I wasn't expecting his answer either. Josh turned his head and said "I feel like Mike Wazowski (from Monsters Inc.)....I finally got on the front cover of a magazine and they slapped a UPC symbol across my face, you can't even hear me" Now, I personally thought he was nuts! I could hear him loud and clear but that really isn't the point is it? No, the point it makes is that HE felt like Mike Wazowski.

I started to think of so many of the times that I too felt like Mike Wazowski. Of how many times even my loved ones have made me feel like Mike Wazowski without even realizing it had been done. Anywhere from Christmas parties I'd planned every detail of, to marketing, to a business idea I gave to a friend that really took off! None of which I personally had been recognized for. Then I started to think of all the times I've probably done the same to others around me, unintentionally of course.

Mike Wazowski....not a good place to be is it? Or, is it? In the movie, Monsters Inc. Mike loves all his "fame" because he is there and knows he's served the purpose he was intended for. He just doesn't give a whit if anyone else knows he exists because inside of himself he is confident knowing he was part of Sully's success. As a matter of fact he even knows without him, Sully wouldn't have had success. So, maybe being a mike Wazowski shouldn't be that bad. Strive to be my best, giving my all to the success of those around me. Being a "silent partner" not looking for fame, recognition or fortune. Being at peace with the part that I am blessed at and finding confidence within myself in that role. Mike Wazowski didn't mope around feeling sorry for himself wishing the world knew he existed. He knew he existed and he knew Sully knew he existed and that was satisfaction.

I'm not sure how, but I am going to strive to be more like Mike Wazowski. I hope I find myself in more situations where instead of negatively I can positively and confidently say "I feel like Mike Wazowski". How amazing would I feel knowing that everyone around me got to be a Sully because I chose to be their Mike? From now on I am going to be proud of the UPC I hide behind so other's can take the cover, and in that find my peace. If your one of those that seems to always be on the cover, I challenge you to find an area in your life where you can hide behind the t.v. logo or UPC and give your Mike Wazowski a chance to be on the cover for once. Trust me, you'll feel more amazing than being in the spotlight. Be a Mike Wazowski!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Bedtime Made Simple
This week the elementary school has put on a fitness challenge for all the kids. Each child got a pedometer to wear for the week and a log to be filled in each night with the results for the day. In the end whichever class has the most steps walked earns a popcorn party for their class and the right to brag of course!

In our household, things are taken a bit further than in most households when it comes to competition. Everyone of our kids likes to be the one in the spotlight and therefore they are willing to do just. about. anything. to earn that position. On Monday when the kids got home from school they were so excited to tell me about the challenge and bragged that they, in fact, would be part of the winning team come Friday. While homework was being done I had kids doing jumping jacks. When homework was complete (in record time mind you) I watched stairs being climbed and running in place. Kayela had a hard time getting her pedometer to register and she figured out very quickly that if she jumped on the trampoline those points would add up rapidly! It was really great to see....on Monday!

Now, Tuesday, came an enhanced competitive edge because the teams with the highest points were announced during the school day. When you have five kids in the same school, odds are pretty high that at least one of them will be a winner in competitions like this. Sure enough, I had a child in each of the top three classes. I know you are thinking "GREAT! Good for them!" but NOOOO you must understand, they turned into moving hungry monsters who would stop at nothing! Two of the three kids who's classes were in the top were watching each other like hawks. If one did ten jumping jacks, the other would do fifteen! They tried to sneak in as many "steps" as possible while the other was preoccupied. I was actually amused by it all and welcomed the friendly competition as I think it is good to learn how to be a good winner and a good loser.

Now, a curve ball was thrown, when I announced we'd be running errands and that most of them consisted of the kids sitting in the car. Astonished murmurs of "what?", "how will I get my steps in?", "can't we stay home?", and miscellaneous other horrified expressions filled my house. When I didn't back down and they knew they had no choice, they begrudgingly loaded into the car. Thirty minutes down the road is when the real lesson in winning an losing gracefully came to play. One (not to be named) child was caught shaking their pedometer up and down ferociously trying to accumulate "points". I confronted this child and they admitted that they did, in fact, cheat by adding points without really "earning" them. wow! I was a little shocked that this was something so important that they were willing to cheat. I explained that I would be putting a zero down on their log chart and that by cheating they may have lost the competition for their team. blah, blah, blah! Ya, know all the mom stuff we always say when a lesson is so clearly needing to be taught.

The competition continues and will for the next couple of days. I'm glad that lessons of healthy choices, right and wrong, winning and losing are being witnessed every day by this simple competition. Additionally, I am so grateful for tired kids who are going to bed without having to be told twice!


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Going to the Highest Bidder!
Change is just something we do. I think we probably change more than all our friends combined, and yet, I don't really feel like I'm living in a constant state of confusion. Not sure I should admit that, or if I need to seek some professional help?Either way, we are staying true to ourselves and gearing up for some huge changes in 2010!

When I say huge, I really, really mean huge! Even with Tait aside their are some major changes coming our way. The biggest change is that we are moving. No, not across the street either. We are moving across the country...literally! We are just fifteen days away from pulling out of Colorado and pulling into South Carolina. Can you believe that? I've NEVER lived anywhere else and yet we are moving ourselves and six kids 1,647 miles away. Can you just already imagine the blog posts I am going to have in store for you? This is going to be the adventure of a lifetime and I am going to have a blast keeping all of you updated.

As you all know, Josh never does anything typical. So, when we decided to move and started talking about the actual "move" part, Josh thought that it would be best if we sold the things we have grown tired of or that are just plain worn out after fourteen years of marriage. Now, honestly you have to know, I agreed! Let me make myself clear though, MY idea of "grown tired of" or "worn out" is much, much different than Josh's is. I thought "OK, our couch is 10 years old and has dealt with seven kids, three dogs and two crazy adults....it's probably time to retire the couch". I might have thought about one or two more items but not much more than that (our furnishings for the most part are all within a few years old). Josh, on the other hand, was not thinking "what should we sell?", but instead he was thinking "what should we keep?". He placed our couch and the pool table (since there are no basements in South Carolina, and I was NOT agreeing to a pool table in the dining room) on craigslist and that is where his addiction began!

Once he sold both of those items he turned into a crazed auctioneer. Not joking! Actually, as the guys who bought the pool table were loading it on their trailer Josh is pointing to the pictures on my walls saying "you can have that for $150" I'm thinking "what? they can?" and ironically they bought two of them! People would come for an item and decide against it and yet Josh wouldn't let them leave without buying something! "Don't want that? maybe this is more of what you're looking for?". One early morning he had some people come and buy the boys bedroom furniture, as they were talking they mentioned they wanted a desk too. Josh paraded them through Emma's room and in the end our poor daughter woke up to men carrying her desk out of her room!

I have to admit, I have a large chunk of change to put towards furnishing the new house and I have a lot less to pack and move across the country, so it's not all bad....I just fear he can't be stopped. What's his next item up for grabs? Please, If you see ME for sale on craigslist, at least be sure I am going for a good price. After all I think I am one of the more patient wives around!


Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm Here to Introduce the Elephant in the Room!
Some advice I just heard and am going to take to heart is that "if there's an Elephant in the room, introduce it!" So, I am going to do just that!

Many of you have sent me emails, texts, face booked or called me on the phone regarding an update on our adorable baby boy. I've avoided this blog entry like the plague. I've avoided having to discuss this with anyone, because as you all know I am not a crier by nature and I don't like "putting myself out there to people" in the form of tears and a good old fashioned "ugly cry" (thank you Oprah for so eloquently introducing me to this term). I'm at the point now, though, that it is just going to have to happen!

We are not going to be able to call ourselves "Tait's forever family". We are losing our baby boy. We are devastated beyond words and I'm not even sure I know what to say (that comes as a shock to most of you since I seem to always have something to say). We've been so blessed in the past 7 months to be able to call ourselves "mommy and daddy" to this most precious child. He has been everything we ever wanted and yet so much more than we could have dreamed him to be. We've seen SO many of his "firsts". First smile, first laugh, first crawl, first bite of cereal, first sit, first roll-over, first bite of fruit, first bite of veggies, first day without medication, first tantrum, first sleep through the night, first Halloween, first Christmas, first Thanksgiving, first visit to Disneyland, first step in the ocean, first wave "bye-bye", first coloring page, first drink from a sippy cup, first cry for his "mama", first pull-up to stand, first snow fun, first 14er conquered, first camping trip,.........oh how I could go on! We have taken advantage of each day we had with him and can honestly say this has been time spent with no regrets. We will never be able to look back and say "we should've done more!" For that I am so very grateful! This little boy has been loved to the fullest by our family and by so many of you who took this journey with us and bought into our love for Tait the second you saw him. For that we are so very grateful too.

It's a double edged sword. So many times in the past seven months I've been approached about how to pray for our situation. I've continually said that this is such a tough place to be in as a human. You never want to wish against another human, it goes against human nature. Although, at the same time in not wishing against a person in this situation means that in turn I could loose something so very important to me and the rest of my family. I've continually asked people to pray for God to show favor to Tait and now I need to be faithful that He is doing just that. Sometimes things may not turn out how I want them to be, and yet I must remain faithful that for whatever reason they turned out the way they are supposed to be. I could be angry but what good would that do me or anyone surrounding this situation? We all knew the risk going in and honestly even with the outcome the way it is, I would do it all again to have what I enjoyed for the past seven months. Plus, it's hard to be angry with someone who is fighting like hell to get her baby back when I'd be doing the same thing if I could.

Birth mom is drug free and loving every minute she gets to spend with her boy. I admire her strength and perseverance through what had to seem like a losing battle when the odds were so stacked against her. I trust that she will do great things in her future and for Tait. I trust that she will love him fully and tell him about how much he was adored by all of us. She has embraced us as part of Tait and acknowledges how hard this will be for all of us, which is the first of many selfless acts she is sure to encounter for the next eighteen plus years as a mommy. We are planning to stay in contact with Tait and to be able to enjoy his childhood from a distance, not what we planned, but something we are grateful for nonetheless. We will always consider him part of our family.

Thank you all for loving Tait right along with us and for your concern over the last seven months.
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