SOMETIMES I SURPRISE MYSELF........

But most of the time I just surprise those around me.

Most of you who read my blog have a pretty good "feel" for who I am as a person. You know that I am one to speak my mind, whether you want to hear it or not. I'm really OK saying I missed church because I was hung over, even knowing the pastors wife will call a prayer group together to "save" me (refer to previous rule). You know that I am ultra competitive and will even sacrifice the body and all its moving parts so I can "win".......even if the competition is only in my own mind. You know that I adore my kids but I will not ever try to convince anyone that I want them around all the time, actually quite possibly I may do just the opposite. You know that I LOVE vacations, struggle with maintaining my weight, would stop the world for my man and laugh at most everything. I divulge a lot on this blog. I divulge things that others are too freaked out to comment on even. But........I do still leave things out, not everything is out here!

As a matter of fact, I think it would surprise most of you to know that this suburban mom of six will indeed "hush" you if you ever come over while I'm in the middle of Orange county choppers! Yes. I. Will. It's my drug of choice. Plus, there's just something about a tough guy with a heart of gold. I actually watched Jon and Kate Plus 8 once (and maybe even DVR'd it and watched it again) because my OCC guys were being featured on the show. I guess now if you come over and I'm in the middle of the show, you won't be so surprised anymore!

I think you'd be surprised to know that this suburban mom of six has a mouth like a truck driver! My kids actually thought all their first names were "damn it" for the longest time. Yes, I often yell "damn it Emma" when I walk into her messy room. Many times I say "damn it Kayela" when she's pushed one too many buttons of mine. Kaidon gets the "damn it Kaidon" when he's made his sister pay him to stay up late when he is babysitting. After calling Mikaels name umpteen times with no answer I whip out the tried and true "damn it Mikael answer me!" BARK!BARK!BARK! and here goes......"damn it Mihya, get your dog!" Graysie has a tendency to get greedy and after playing good cop one too many times I end up with "damn it Graysie now you lost it all" No wonder they never respond when we are in public. So, I guess you are no longer in the dark about that one either huh?

After all these years I still surprise Josh when I abruptly convey my opinion to someone in conversation. It's less of a surprise that I do it, more of a surprise the things that set me off. If you ever go to Sam's Club with me you will know that I want my items boxed. I don't care if you offer it, if you want to give me boxes or if you have to go to the back to find them for me; I am leaving with my items boxed! Period. End of discussion. Josh is now prepared well in advance that I will do what it takes to get to my final goal. Now, there are some instances, like talking to someone who says they "tried calling me" to invite me for a night out and I answer with "no, you didn't and you don't need to lie to me!" that maybe, just maybe Josh is not ready for and I end up surprising even him. I don't mean to be rude, I just want people to know they really have no reason to lie to me, I'm pretty understanding and I'd rather hear the truth than see you squirm yourself into a frenzied lie for me. Well, I guess this is no longer something that you don't know.

Here's a biggy! Even with me being very abrupt, having a "hidden" wild side, a potty mouth in desperate need of soap on a minute by minute basis, and a blog that I divulge almost everything on; I do tend to surprise people with my quiet demeanor at first impression. Just recently, Josh and I had some email interactions with a couple of people. I do most of the emailing and had many conversations with these people. I basically had days of ongoing communication via email and texting before we actually met in person for the first time. We met in a public setting and had drinks where I might have said a handful of words. I gave these poor people a complex. So much of a complex that several times they stopped the conversation to ask my personal opinion (that's where my handful of words came in). I got a text from one of them saying "you're a lot more open over email or text". I surprised these poor people so much that I'm sure they wondered if I was the same person. Josh said several times that I was the emailer, he was the people person. The truth is, once I'm comfortable you can't stop me. So, if I ever meet you in person and haven't already, don't be surprised if you end up thinking I don't like you but get an email later telling you how much fun I had with you and asking when we can do it again!

The point is, for all you thinking that my blog is just way too personal and that I am divulging too much! Get over yourselves, you didn't even know all the stuff I just said! Now, doesn't THAT just surprise you?

Role Model

So, every now and then I think I might be doing SOME things in this parenting gig right.

Every now and then I see my kids smile and I know that I am raising happy adults. Every now and then I laugh at their witty comments until my sides hurt and I have to tell them to stop! Every now and then they do something really thoughtful and I know I have planted the seed of selflessness in them..... somehow. Every now and then they actually do something that might seem "normal" and I know that common sense has been absorbed. Every now and then someone else tells me how polite my kids are and I know that when I'm not around they sometimes might be using their manners. Every now and then they do something just because it's the "right" thing to do (and for no other reason) and I know that they are secure enough to make confident decisions that don't always win the majority vote. Every now and then I feel like I am doing more right than wrong! BUT..........

Then there are times when my kids baffle me! They say and do things that leave me questioning why they don't do even MORE extensive research when someone wants to adopt children. I wonder if I'm worthy to have my dogs, let alone 6 kids! Saturday morning just happens to be one of those times.

I was moving rather slow. I was recovering from a fun night with friends who stopped by for a little bit of food, a lot a bit of fun. Actually, it started out with just one friend that moved to two that moved to three and suddenly we were a loud crowd of suburban life gone wild! Kids were having a blast with friends and were in and out of the kitchen where all of us adults were gathered telling stories and getting louder by the minute. We laughed and made fun of each other and for a minute (just a minute) I was glad to be back in the old 'hood where friends just show up on your door step with a seltzer water (because they know we have the Grey Goose) and mozzarella salad. Where more friends come bearing x-box games and controllers, so kids will be occupied. Where kids who aren't even mine open the cabinets and pull out food because they are hungry and know I want them fed. Where other friends uncharacteristically stay up past 10 so their little can stay "just a tiny bit longer". Yes, for a moment I forgot about my beach and simple, quiet life in the bliss of my familiar surroundings. Friends left in the early morning and I crashed hard in my bed with a few extra bodies snoozing in the house. When I finally got out of bed for good, my mind clouded from the previous nights fun, I heard something that made my heart race with panic!

The kids had been up entirely too early for my liking and so had a whole day under their belts. They respectfully kept quiet (which translates to "they were quiet so they could get away with more") and were sitting around the kitchen table on a break from destruction when I over heard this conversation:

Kaidon: "ma'am, what would you like to drink?"

Graysie: "vodka on the rocks!"

(I'm the worst mom!)

Kaidon: "ok, ONE VODKA ON THE ROCKS! Ma'am what would you like?"

Kayela: "uuummmmm, Mawgawita no salt....just one"

(How is it that my seven year old knows how to order at a bar?)

Kaidon: "and you sir?"

Mikael: "I will have a Margarita too but I want salt"

(Good for him, he's not being a follower, progress!)

Kaidon: "ok, TWO MARGARITAS, ONE WITH SALT THE OTHER ONE PLAIN! Ma'am what can I get for you?"

(He's got to be talking to Mihya Qwencie...c'mon baby, it's up to you to redeem your mom here)

Mihya Qwencie: "uuuummmmm... I will have.....let's see....a decaf, gluten free no sugar soy milk latte in a recycled cup!"

(Bammo! My princess SAVES my ass again! See? I'm not doing EVERYTHING wrong! Plus, how telling their individualities are with these simple "bar orders")

TIME PASSES, KIDS MAKING FUN OF MIHYA'S ORDER!

Mihya Qwencie: "I just don't want to get drunk like mom!"

Ok, so there's always tomorrow!