Backwards...at least that's my opinion!

I'm not usually a complainer. As a matter of fact it's one of the things that drives me crazy about some people. Even my kids sometimes get in a "victim" mode and I have to snap them out of it! My most common used lines when they get into the complaint trap is "hey, no complaints!" or "change your attitude!", because I can only sit idly by for so long listening to that. With that said...I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN! (because this is my blog and I can do that if I want to!)

I am really patient with people and their silly questions about our kids. Everyday I get the same "are they all yours?" question in which I reply "yes!" happily and move on. I do get the small handful of occasions when people (particularly when we are going to the pool or museum where a "family" discount applies) when I get the questioning double take and scan across each of my children and I know in their minds they are thinking "whatever lady!" No big deal to me, I know the truth and so do my kids and therefore I can be very patient. I actually enjoy talking to people about our adoptions and sharing our good, bad and ugly times throughout the whole process. ...but....the thing that will set me off faster than anything is when I am registering the kids for school or activities and they ask for my adoption decree to "prove" these are my kids!

I know to any of you sitting here you are probably thinking "well, I have to show birth certificates proving I am who I say I am and have the authority to register my kids". The sad reality is, I have all that documentation too. Each of my kids has a birth certificate with me listed under "mother" and Josh listed as "father", so why the run around having to "prove" anything? The reason this has come up again, is clearly because I had to register the kids for school when we moved and because I needed another copy of Mikael and Kayelas social security cards. It took me two days at the social security office while waiting for over an hour one visit and then sitting with an employee for over an hour on the next visit. It is just insane to me! Why is this? It makes me think about a friend I used to work with. Her twin daughters are Graysie's age and have no idea they are adopted, and my friend has no intention of telling them. What does she do when the clerk is saying "Mam, I'm sorry, because these children are adopted you must bring proper documentation showing that you are indeed the parent!"? What does she do when she has repeatedly said "well, isn't the fact that I am the one listed on the birth certificate and here I am sitting in front of you with my passport, my driver's license and marriage certificate enough documentation?" Seriously...what does she do? What I typically do is question the reasoning. I never just hand it over, and it's not that I don't have it either! I just really want to know "why?". In the event of the social security cards the lady finally was giving me some run around answer in which I finally looked at her and said "you just don't know why either do you? No need to make things up, I've got it here for you, I was just hoping that maybe their was a good reason!". I am not trying to be difficult either. I really. just. don't. get it! Not once has anyone respected the fact that maybe my kids don't want to be labeled "the adopted" ones each time we try to register for something. Luckily, for our family, it is considered a privilege to be adopted (my biological kids used to get all sad because they only had one mommy! Mihya used to say "yes, but, who's my other mommy?"). The worst part for me is that I know if I was a dishonest person I could get away with not marking the boxes that say "check here if this child is adopted". I could pretend I didn't see it and sail by the process, but unfortunately for me I had parents who taught me to fear not playing by the rules (or is that fortunate?).

So, for us, I guess I will just need to continue to be frustrated. I guess for me I need to be grateful that when my children overhear an employee saying "because these children are adopted...." it's not the first time they are receiving the news. Maybe if I just hand over the adoption decree without always questioning "why?", it would be less painful for all of us (but would things change if people didn't question?) Besides, can you imagine what the process will be like when I go get them passports?

Foto Friday #2

So, I haven't mastered photos on the blog with my new mac so forgive the fact that they are not in the correct order. We started with Angel Oak then Folly beach then Visitor center and downtown Charleston and ended with Middleton. Although My pictures are opposite. If you're really not liking it, start at the bottom and scroll up! I hope you enjoy.

A tomb at Middleton plantation and gardens. The top ornamental piece was taken from the mother's headstone and added to the tomb, when the family was brought together.

This is the old front porch of the first Middleton home before it was looted and burned in the war.

Picture of the kids although in the background you can see the rice mill where the slaves would work. Many slaves stayed and worked even after they were freed. In one of the slaves homes they have a sign with all the slaves throughout the many years who worked on the plantation, what they did and how much they were bought for. Even the women are listed with how many children they had.

Again, in the background of this picture is the flooded rice fields. Rice is considered "Carolina Gold!" thanks to the slaves this created a very wealthy lifestyle for many plantation owners.

After the war this statue of a Nymph was the only statue in the gardens without any destruction.

The old gentleman's quarters that the Middletons used after the home had been burned.

The Middletons had 6,500 acres that were surrounded with beautiful landscaped gardens. Gardens show both formal French and English influence.

This is a brick covered bench. I love this picture with the bamboo in the background.

Outside the Charleston visitor center, said to be the best in the country! It is really an amazing place. Be ready to see this when you come visit us. A 45 minute film gives a really fascinating historical overview of Charleston.

This is the Angel Oak. Said to be the oldest living thing this side of the Mississippi. One of the branches is longer than a football field and it is more than 25 feet around!

A picture of Folly beach. It was only about 70 degrees this particular day but we were close so we had to see the ocean. We've been told that this is the beach to go to if the kids want to boogie board. It looks like we are the only ones here although it was scattered with sad vacationers who thought the weather would be warmer.

Homeward Bound

Josh has been out of town on business for the past week. He comes home today and I can't wait. This single parenting of six kids just does me in, even for just a week. It's not like I leave the house any more or any less when Josh is here, it's just knowing I can that relaxes me. I'm counting the hours until I go pick him up from the airport. I am not sure yet if I will be spending time with him or leaving the house to get away from the kids for awhile...ha! My mom was here for most of his time away and helped me out a ton, although their is just something different about having the person who helped me get into the "mess" of parenting here by my side than some innocent person who's already "done her time". Yeah for Josh coming home!

He Forgot the Words!!

Through facebook Josh and I learned of an old friend who was going to be on American Idol. We were ecstatic for him, and so made a point of being home this particular night to watch him living out his dream. Here, in South Carolina, American Idol comes on when the kids go to bed and therefore we were sure to get the kids settled much earlier so we could watch without interruption. We were like little kids watching Disney live on stage because every time our friend would be on film we'd point it out to each other with extreme excitement! You see, nothing is more exciting to us, than someone who is realizing there dream, and we knew this had been a long time dream of his!

Over ten year's ago (don't quote me on time lines this wasn't my dream so I am guesstimating here) this friend and his band came together trying to go big in the Christian music industry. They had many teeny bopper followers who loved their music and many adults who believed in their dreams and supported them in many ways. They entertained people on many fronts and were even featured on the Christian radio station. Our kids were little then (some even non-existent) but we would bring them to concerts and coffee shops to hear these guys play and sing. These guys had dreams! Not just small dreams....these guys had big dreams!

So, on the night our friend was featured on American Idol we watched with sheer joy and anticipation. We knew he'd made it far enough to be working with a group and that he (in our mind) was smooth sailing, as he'd worked in a group setting for so many years. As the show continued on and it was his time to perform you can imagine how thrilled we were that this was his moment to shine. Unfortunately, as he performed he was one of the many singers who forgot the words and got voted out. Did you catch that? HE FORGOT THE WORDS! One of the "Simon sins!"

It still has me baffled. Yet, how many times in life do we chase our dreams, get to the end of the road and then we forget the words! More times than not I have chased something until it was the only thing I could set my sights on, and at the end of the road, I "forget the words". As a matter of fact one of the things that I chased like a vengeance was having kids. As far back as I can remember I wanted kids and I wanted to be the "perfect parent" (is their such a thing?), although so many times now I "forget the words". I take for granted what I have daily, yes daily! I get frustrated and mad or even burnt out on this whole mommy thing. I look for something that will lift my spirits or fulfill me...funny since I'm living my dream! It's almost as if I finally realize a dream and by the time I know I'm going to obtain it, I've moved on to something bigger or better that I begin chasing. Not just me either, I see people in and out of my life doing this same thing. Have you "forgotten the words" of your dream?

So, thank you friend for forgetting the words! It has been an eye opener to me in my life. I'm committing to slowing down and making each step of this dream as perfected as possible. I need to focus on my dreams and be sure that I too do not forget the words in my excitement to move on to the next round!

Foto Fridays

So, I've been doing my blog for quite some time now. Often, I get people emailing, facebooking, or posting here on my blog about wanting to see more pictures. I ran across a blog the other day that gave me the brilliant idea to do a post full of pictures one day a week. I am taking up this practice starting today! Every week I am going to do "foto Fridays" where I will be posting my favorite pictures I've taken during the week. It's going to be fun to share pieces of our new surroundings with all of you. I hope you enjoy this new addition to our blog.

Sweetgrass basket stands line hwy 17 here in South Carolina. My mom and I stopped and talked to two of the basket makers on Thursday. Wow, what an amazing craft that has been passed down through many generations.

My mom with her sweetgrass basket.

This is one of the nicer stands I am in front of. Many of them are just a few boards nailed together with tarps for shade and shelter. One lady told us they are going to widen the hwy. and this would give them no place to sell. The lively hoods of many will be destroyed if they do not come up with a plan. These little stands are as close as 5-10 ft away from each other all the way down a good stretch of hwy.

Although I don't quilt, my mom does and insisted we explore some local quilt shops. Luckily for me, this was the only one!

Kaidonisms

For as long as Kaidon has been talking, he has said some of the funniest things. He always has us cracking up whether he tries to or not and whether he finds the humor or not. I thought I would share some of his "kaidonisms" for those of you who need a little pick me up today.

When Kaidon was about 2 and Emma was four, they were playing with Lego's on the floor. Emma stood up and in walking behind Kaidon, accidentally stepped on his fingers. She immediately realized what she had done and before she could apologize Kaidon holding his hand in the air and in his little two year old voice says "EMMA! Do you know what these are?...THESE are fingers! You do not step on fingers!" Emma very sweetly replies "I'm sorry Kaidon", which was apparently good enough for him because he turned around and went back to playing with his Lego's. State the facts, buddy, just so everyone is clear!

Kaidon has always been very warm blooded. He rarely wears a coat and can spend hours in the snow without complaining of the cold. He ice fishes with my dad and is a total outdoors man even in the dead of winter. About a year ago Kaidon told me he kept getting a rash but that it would go away and then show up again. I was getting a little concerned, although, like his rash, my concern just kept going away as I got busy with life. Well, one day as we were driving in the car Kaidon announced that his rash was back. I immediately looked to evaluate if I should be calling the pediatrician, and in my head I started going over anything we had eaten in the past 24 hours so I could maybe relate his fluctuating rash to an allergy. When I examined the "rash" it was nothing more than goose bumps! I said "honey, those are goose bumps, it happens when you get cold". "oh" he replied "THOSE are goose bumps?". It's OK buddy, you're not dying of some rare disease!

Just the other day I called Kaidon in from playing outside. He came racing in the house and I started talking away. The whole time I was talking he was banging on the back of his head. I finally stopped what I was saying and asked him "buddy, what are doing that for?" In which he replied "well, I got up too fast and now I'm trying to get my heart back in my chest and out of my head!" Hmmm, is that how it works buddy? If something is outta whack just pound it back into place!

Kaidon was one of those rare boys who potty trained early. By the time he was two he was completely in big boy undies. The only problem with this, was that it took him forever to use the potty! One day my mom took him into the restroom, and Kaidon was talking and telling her practically everything that had happened in his life up until this point. My mom, getting a little antsy asked him "are you almost done buddy?" in Which Kaidon replied "I think he's getting on his shoes first, then he'll come out Grandy!". Yep, there's always a good reason isn't there buddy? If not, just make one up!

I set myself up for failure when I started tickling my kids backs when they were young. They constantly ask us to tickle their backs whenever their is a lull in life. We can be standing in line at Disney World and as soon as conversation stops one of the kids will say "will you tickle my back?". When Kaidon was around four years old he asked me if I'd tickle his back. I was preoccupied with something else and so I told him "no, not now". Most kids would respond with an "ok" or something close to that response. Not Kaidon, nope, his reply? "why? 'cause there's a butt back there?" It's never stopped me before has it buddy? I realized long ago you had a butt back there!

My mom is here visiting this week. The day she came into town the kids were all excited to show her all the things that were now new in their life. One of the things Kaidon wanted to share was his rubber band bracelets. As he was showing my mom, and she is trying to act interested she asked "Wow! where did you find these?" He frowns and looks up at her as if she were a complete fool and says "Grandy, we didn't find these, we bought them!" Without skipping a beat my mom just said "oh, you bought them? where?". Yes, buddy, some things just need to be clarified to us adults, especially the old timers! We're just not up to date on all these great new things.

Kaidon often reminds me of a book that's called Parts. It is a really funny child's point of view book concerning our bodies and the things that seem so normal to us as adults but are so foreign to kids. If you have young kids I recommend finding it and reading it. Keep us in mind as you do, because if I was a paranoid person, I'd be thinking this author tapped into our house and got all the information from listening to the "Kaidonisms" that have occurred over the years!

South Carolina Fun!

Maybe when we are all finished unpacking we will be able to join in on the fun. Until then, all we can do is watch it on you tube.....darn!

Enjoy!

Change is mostly Good!

In my life I've found that change is mostly good. I've mentioned before that we change often and we change fast and furious.

I was sitting here today realizing how much our lives change paths. Their are times when I am bracing myself for impact, just to find out that the "impact" I have waited for never comes. Don't get me wrong, in my opinion their is always an "impact" it's just not always the one I expected to show up.

Our kids have grown accustomed to their quirky parents and therefore have also grown accustomed to change. They are such troopers and really embrace life head on. I can't let you think that they just naturally learned how to cope with change only because they had too though. No,I want some premeditated credit. I have taught them that most of the time, change is good. For instance, it is good to change your under ware (see? Important huh?). It is good to change your sheets (another great lesson from mom right?). It is good to change a bad attitude (because you don't want me changing it for you...correct?). It is sometimes good to change your spouse (....oh, wait maybe I've taught them it may be good to change for your spouse...well whatever!). Anyway, the whole point is that it amazes me that we know change is for the most part good and yet we end up trying to hold onto what we have right now. Why is that?

Concerning our move, I have to admit, it was not one of those things in life that I was "bracing for impact". Instead, it was quite the opposite. I couldn't get to South Carolina fast enough. Not because we knew anyone, not because I was running from anyone, not because I had something to run to, and not because I suddenly gained a super power to predict that life would be OK. For some reason this just felt right!

Little did I know how much of an impact for the better this move would have on our family. In just two weeks our dynamics have changed. In our minds I think we've realized that we are all we've got. We can look around strenuously but all we find is unfamiliar faces, except for those that are living under the same roof. No one to lean on other than each other. Admittedly, I had gotten into a mommy rut that I wasn't so proud of. I had tried to no avail to dig my way out and yet being in the familiarity of our surroundings, somehow just left me in the trenches. I can't explain how or why, but we are different and we are better.

When I take into account the awesomeness this change has already brought to our family I realize that more often than not the changes that have molded my life have mostly turned out good. Many of them I have lost countless nights of sleep over and shed unnecessary tears to find out, that in the end I couldn't have planned things better had I sat down and tried. As for me, I am consciously going to acknowledge all the goodness the change brings to my life each time it comes knocking at my door. I hope that you too can look back on what life you've lived so far and embrace the changes that have occurred, realizing you're better for them. Maybe then, when change comes, we can each lessen our grip on what it is now that we think we don't want to let go of.

New Discoveries

Since we've been in South Carolina almost a week now, I felt like I should share all the new discoveries we've experienced in just this short time. We are starting to feel a little more at home with each new day and with each new box that is unpacked and removed from our sight.

A few key things that we've discovered so far:

1. Being in a "hurry" is a relative term. To me, when I hurry, I am winded and flushed and I'm moving at such a high speed that my thoughts seldom can even keep up, let alone my six year old and her little legs. When you are in a "hurry" in south Carolina you are thinking you just might do something in the next half hour. For example, on the first day of school for the kids we decided not to just pop them on the bus but instead to drive them and walk them in to each of their classrooms. We arrived and were shocked at the length of the drop off line but we had left plenty of time so weren't to concerned. By the time everyone kissed their kids goodbye and chatted with the teachers and waved at their neighbors, we were pushing our time. Once in the building at the main office Josh asked the school secretary when the "late" bell was. She verified that yes, indeed it was overdue already by 10 minutes but that since the parent drop-off line was still a decent size they would not be issuing tardies until it died down a bit. Wow! Totally not what we are used to AT ALL! When school starts, it starts! If you are late, you're late! Not here at our schools, ya know, because you could be having a slower start to your day than you expected. Funny, too, when you are dealing with customer relations and they are taking forever (in our time zone) you just can't help but stay calm just because everyone is so sweet and willing to help. So, my friends, being in a "hurry" is relative to where exactly you are on the map.
2. We found out rather quickly that when the weather man says "tomorrow the chance of rain is 100%" HE MEANS RAIN! To me, these are monsoons! Raincoats are not just an item of fashion, they are a necessity! If you do not have a raincoat, you might as well bring a bar of soap and some shampoo, because you will be wet, and why not just make good use of your time. Here's a picture of the girls sporting their fabulous raincoats!
3. Piggly Wiggly is not just a made for movies name for the local grocery. No, it really exists. People even say it in conversation without breaking into a gut wrenching fit of laughter. "Well, have you seen the deal at the PigglyWiggly....." I think it is just hysterical and I can't help but smile every time I drive by. Now, what they fail to tell you on the teeny bopper movies is that you can "save big with your pig card". I've yet to pick one up, but I promise I will be the proud owner of my very own pig card in the near future.
4. Seeing that our license plates are from Colorado, a neighbor stopped by the other day to ask if I had noticed the dolphins in the ocean. As she was asking me, she was pointing directly across the street. Without hesitation or even thinking of what a buffoon I was sounding like I blurted out "that is the ocean?". You see, everywhere you go here is a body of water. I realized we are right on the coast and I realized that my neighbors have boats on their boat docks I just didn't know it was the ocean directly across the street from me. I have a huge lake type thing in my backyard so I figured it was one in their backyards too. I am a Colorado girl, where we call our reservoirs "beaches"! After analyzing this for a few days I relate it to being in Colorado asking a new neighbor if they saw how clear the mountains looked and them responding with "those are mountains". Anyway, I did see the dolphins from my front porch (pin dots, but I saw them) and now I understand why living on the golf course, in a gated community with a pool that resembles a five star resort pales in comparison to living across the street from the crab docks that everyone was so impressed with! It's because crabs=ocean.....duh!!! Here's a picture of the ocean from our master bedroom retreat:
5. Shutters on houses really have a purpose. When we first looked at our house I noticed the shutter on one of the upstairs bedroom windows was looking like it wasn't fully secured to the house. uuuummmm....that's because it's not. Ya know, in Colorado we have shutters, but they are nailed down on all four corners and completely stationary so that when it snows the decorative little objects don't go plummeting to the ground in a million pieces. Here, in South Carolina, they actually use the shutters! Mine can actually open and close shut. It's a little frightening in the middle of the night when a wind storm comes up and they aren't completely closed shut and you hear banging at your bedroom window but that's a whole other blog post. I've been told that if a hurricane comes I need to be sure they are shut.....hhhmmmmm!
6. The things they are wearing on their wrists are not your typical rubber band bracelets. When Emma went to her first day of school, she noticed the kids wearing rubber bands around their wrists like bracelets. She thought it was a little goofy, enough so that she even told me about this fashion disaster. Now that she's lasted a week and made some friends I couldn't help but notice this:
   

What she found out, is that these are not just rubber band bracelets! No, when you take them off, they are all kinds of different shapes. See:

I still don't get why that's so neat but I guess after a week, she has found the value in it.

So, just like anything new, these things seem so foreign to us now. I am sure after being here awhile, just like Emma, we will be living life not even realizing that what we are doing may seem so odd to someone else.

We Do Potlucks a Little Different Where I'm from!

Valentine's day is one of my kids favorite days of the year! Not only do Josh and I typically leave for an evening out, but they get to load up on sugar all day long at school while doing crafts and getting out of math and homework.

With Valentine's day fast approaching and the kids just getting settled into school, this highlight will be one of their firsts with their new classmates. As usual, the kids are bringing home all the logistics of how each of their classes will be celebrating. Kayela has a typical decorate a shoe box and bring in cards for each of your classmates type of deal. Mikael and Graysie have the usual "this is a great way to practice writing" note from their teacher. Kaidon, being in fourth grade has the "option" to participate in the activities. All sounds pretty fine and dandy huh? Until..... Mihya brings me home a note that might as well been written in a foreign language. It starts out pretty "normal" with the decorate a shoe box, bring in cards for each classmate, here's a class list....blah, blah, blah....WAIT! HUH? POTLUCK? BRING WHAT?

So, here are my choices:

teacher choice................my thoughts

red rice...............what is that? Just rice colored red for the holiday?

hush puppies..........quiet dogs? I can try to keep mine quiet but I'm not sure how they'll do with 30 3rd graders hyped up on sugar.

collard greens.........nope, I do too much laundry to have green collars on any shirt in my house!

crock pot of grits........I have a crock pot but I scrub so their is no grit and grime on their to share with a class of 3rd graders!

toppings for grits........If I knew what grits were, maybe I'd know what goes on top of them?

Needless to say I'm breaking into a sweat, just realizing that I have no idea what any of this is. I scan the list again for anything, just anything I may recognize....NOTHING! Seriously, NOTHING! Of course all the other new moms, not native to South Carolina, have taken all of the paper plates, napkins, table clothe, etc. At the bottom of the sign-up form their is a place you can check that says something like "I would LOVE to help in any way sign me up and tell me what I'm doing". My luck I'd be the one preparing a craft for 30 3rd graders hyped up on sugar, so that is definitely not an option and I keep reading on....blah, blah, blah, I come across "I can help with 'beach in a bottle' and shagging"...Whatever that means! My first fleeting thought is "Well THAT'S not appropriate for 3rd graders!....but what a fun teacher Mihya has, she may be my first friend!".

So, here I sit a day later with the list in hand not really knowing how I am going to be of any help! Right now the only thing that comes to mind is to suggest to her teacher that in the future, for any other parties, add another line just for me that says "PLEASE, I'm bribing begging and pleading with you for $____________ to get out of any of the above listed activities and cooking for this party" next to it she can even type my name permanently. My monetary donation will depend on the depths of despair I am in after reading the check list!

Out Like a Herd of Turtles

Ya know, so often I have in my mind a perfect plan that is squelched by reality. This move was definitely one of those times.

For the two weeks plus before our move my life consisted of boxes and boxes and even more boxes. I packed until my arms could no longer move, as Josh sold all he could get his hands on. Our plan was that most of our things were replaceable and not worth moving across the country. The items we were keeping were being stacked in our front dining room until the big day. We did this not only for convenience but as a meter as to what size truck we needed to be renting. Just so happened that our dining room was the exact size space we would have in a twenty-four foot moving truck. We so hoped that we could squeeze it all in and the plan was that Josh would be driving the truck and hauling his car while being entertained by the boys and I'd be driving my van with four girls and three dogs....that was the plan....that is not what ended up happening!

So, as the big moving day approached and we only could fit our household items, not including our garage things, we decided to rent a twelve foot trailer for me to haul behind my van. Phew! Good thing we were prepared...or were we? NO, you remember like I said before sometimes my plans are squelched by reality. We were so organized that the first twenty four foot truck loaded in record time! Most of the house was packed tight in the truck, but we realized that the twelve foot trailer looked much smaller in person than it had in our minds. Josh called the rental place and to make a really long story short, ended up picking up another truck that we filled. No problem though, we needed a lunch break. My mom agreed to drive the other truck out for us and take on one of the girls while I drove the van hauling the trailer with three girls and three dogs while Josh drove the truck with two boys hauling his car. All was packed and we were ready for tomorrow to come so we could head outta town on our new adventure.

The morning of our big drive came and as always we were about an hour later than our original "hit the road" time. No big deal, we only had fourteen hours to drive with a pit stop for dinner in Kansas with Amanda and Adam and their two kiddos. I had a van full of boxes of hand me downs to give them that were just thrown in at the very end and hadn't been placed very well considering they were only traveling with us for nine of the twenty eight hours. I told the girls they'd be fine and when they were ready to sleep Amanda and Adam would already have them, so not to worry about it. That was the plan.....although, that's not what really happened! No, about three hours in Josh's moving truck broke down! I am not joking! It just flat out stopped working! Knowing Josh's history my mom and I got him a gallon of gas anticipating the truck to start right up and we'd be on our way. Unfortunately, after over two hours on hold with the customer service line and then three hours of waiting for the truck to be towed and repaired, we were a little off schedule to say the least! The best thing that happened was that he broke down just ten miles from the Dairy Queen, Subway and indoor playground so the kids were at least happy. Once back on the road we realized that we'd be getting into Kansas at about midnight, so our plans wouldn't be working out with Amanda and Adam and therefore the girls would be jammed into the van for the long haul surrounded by boxes! We arrived into Mt. Pleasant on Friday around dinner time. Not our plan, but we made it.

I'm now back to being busy with boxes and the adventure of what life has coming our way