First Date

Today marks two years from my first “official” date with Chad. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and looking back now, I find it almost comical that either of us saw the potential of a relationship, because who thinks ten kids under one roof has ever sounded like a good idea?   

Life is about taking chances, which is exactly what I did the night I got on match.com. It was time for a fresh start and I wanted to believe I had some possibility of having a happily ever after. I swore I would never get married again (jokes on me), I swore I wouldn’t date anyone with kids (four is a nice, even number), I swore I would NEVER “wink” or send an email first......no comment there. I had several dates, many phone calls and countless winks from people that were very FAR from a “match” for me. It was a good learning experience, though, and got me in the game again, I suppose. I don’t think I could say I regret any of the trial and error, so to speak, but I just didn’t click with anyone. Many days I remember thinking that I was never going to find anyone to be happy with again.  

The reality is, I had been on match for a few months before I finally saw Chad’s profile.  Honestly, the reason I hadn’t seen him sooner was because I had narrowed my search field down so far that only one man fit in the box, and he married Kate Middleton just a few months later. I read Chad’s profile a couple of times (which really means about a hundred) before I finally (days later) got the nerve up to send a “wink.” I hit send and what promptly followed was me slamming my computer shut and running out of the room as if he had personally witnessed me winking at him. To say I had “nerve” might be a slight exaggeration. Although I don’t recall all the specifics in the next month and a half or so, I do know the one guy I had the courage to wink at.......never responded! 

“What?” you’re saying right now. And here I am vigorously shaking my head “yes” with the “Can you believe that?” look on my face.

It is so cliche and the brunt of almost every single joke our kids come up with regarding our relationship, but I love that they know our story. I guess it makes the fact that he sent me an email on Thanksgiving day that much sweeter. At least that is how I’m going to play it off. You see, from Chad’s perspective, I had winked at absolutely the worst time of year......right in the middle of duck hunting season! The nerve of me, right? Anyway, he knew better than to respond and then not really want to spend the time to build a relationship, so he waited. After that first email he sent, the rest is history. We emailed a few times, texted each other daily and talked for hours on end over the next couple of months. The funny thing is, our kids were our excuses for not making a point of getting together and meeting officially. We both respected each other for that. 

When we finally met, I already knew that, if nothing else, a great friendship was to be had. I never told my kids I was going on a date. Josh was on duty to call me an hour in, just in case a “rescue” was necessary, which it wasn’t. But other than that, no one really knew. Chad wasn’t what I set out looking for, but in a strange way, he was exactly what I needed. I didn’t know that what wasn’t “ideal” was actually perfect for me. I was the first one at the restaurant (Chad was late because he was taking care of dinner for his kids) and I waited for him in the parking lot. We were actually on the phone the entire time he was driving. As soon as he pulled up, after months of waiting, everything just clicked!  Nothing was forced for either of us. We talked and laughed and tried to figure out what to do to keep the date going long after it was over. Looking back now, one of the funniest things about our night was adding each other’s contacts to our phones. I still have Chad saved as “Master Chad” (which is what he put himself in as) and the picture that pops up when I call him is one he took on that first night. I drove with him to his storage unit, where he terrified me because “I shouldn’t be going at night to a secluded place with a stranger.” Although he was right, somehow I knew I was safe with him. After that night, we both just assumed we would be making our relationship work. We never talked about making things “official,” they just were.   

It is crazy how much has happened in the past two years and how natural our family feels being together. I had no idea what I was walking into that night and I am so glad I didn’t because who knows if I would have ever gone. To say that Chad “saved” me sounds so vulnerable. I don’t like to think of myself in that way, but I admit that being with Chad means that I have found my “happy” again. That is a good enough ending for me. The reality is, today is a day to be celebrated. It is a day that proves to me that second chances really exist. I may have a few hard chapters, but my story is far from over.