Poop Patrol
A funny thing happened to me today. Let me explain, it's funny 'cuz it's so unbelievable! Not unbelievable like a "Ripley's Believe it or not" show but unbelievable because I can't believe some people are so nutty!

This morning was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, it was a little breezy and yet warm enough for me to be able to leave my front door open. I haven't yet put a screen door on. Their are several reasons for this:
1. How long would a screen last with six kids and three dogs?
2. How many times would I be yelling "shut the door!"
3. If the door actually got shut how many times would I be shouting "STOP slamming the door!"
4. How many times would I be stopping what I was doing to go let in some freak who went out the back door and is now trying to get in the locked front screen door?
5. Probably the biggest reason is... what purpose does a screen door really serve? I mean REALLY? All the reasons I've thought in the past I've really not had much success with. To keep flies out?Nope, that would only work if we never opened the screen door! Keep predators out? Hmmm what burglar couldn't get through a screen? (my dogs could show them a few tricks if they needed training and if that didn't work my kids are masters) keep dirt out? Just an FYI ,a screen is just a whole bunch of little holes in a really thin material, if it would keep dust out Mihya wouldn't have the tri-weekly chore of dusting.

I could continue on about this screen situation but it really is NOT the point of this entry.

I had just gotten the kids out the front, screenless door for school when Kayela was getting out of the shower. I went to her bedroom to set her clothes out for the day and she was looking out her bedroom window. Her bedroom is at the front of our house and we happen to have half the neighborhood out walking on the streets on any given day, and today was no different. Kayela announces "wow that dog is big AND it's going potty in our yard" I am half listening because I am secretly thinking "oh my gosh, maybe that's what a screen door is for...to keep the neighborhood dogs out!" OK so that's not really what I was thinking. I was really thinking about the fact that my dogs would probably not be fine with some other dog peeing on their front lawn and that I had better go be sure everyone played nicely. (Our dogs are other dog friendly and go to the dog park often and they are trained to stay on our land, even horses go by and they stay in their boundaries but this was different because this dog was on our land and to my knowledge that hadn't happened before so I was a little concerned about it) Just as I got to the front door I saw the "big dog" stop peeing and start heading toward my front door. I'm looking directly at the dogs owner , she clearly sees me standing there, she is holding some little rat-like dog and sets him down and tells him to go potty and it proceeds to poop in my yard. Now keep in mind this women is ancient and has probably lived in the neighborhood for many years and I am NOT ancient and have just moved in, so I have to kind of admit that I am intimidated by the crotchety women. A million thoughts run through my head as to what I should say but I don't get a chance to collect my thoughts before the "big dog" walks right up my front step sniffs in my garden and POOPS!! Kid. You. Not. At this point, I think I looked like a contortionist the way I had my head tilted like "nuh uh!". Again, I'm thinking "how do I tell this woman, without starting WW III, to pick up the dog --BEEP?" (censored for small children, this is a family blog). I.DID.NOT. SAY.A.WORD. The funny part is that she walked clear around the back of our land, and back by the front door, with plastic bag in hand mind you, (a good half an hour) and I was still standing in my contorted state trying to peacefully confront the pooping problem. I resort to thinking that I guess maybe they have different "poop protocol" here, but then why did she have the plastic baggy?

I really consumed too much of my day with what had taken place. Seriously, I told my mom AND every person who walked through my front door.(not to mention all of you) I guess the reality is that no one else would even know that wasn't one of our dogs poop. I just felt it necessary to mention it just in case someone may think our dogs are unsophisticated enough to poop in the garden! Then when Josh and I were heading out the door this evening, I told him about the poop problem. I ended with "I didn't even know what to say, so I just stood at the front door like I was the poop patrol and I was going to stare her down until she used the plastic in her hand" All Josh said is "well you should've just asked her if she needed a bag to clean it up" ....Wonder why I didn't think of THAT!?!?

Tomorrow I will be prepared. I am on poop patrol and nothings landing in this yard without my OK. I'm armed and loaded and that women is going to wish I had a screen door holding me back!