Laugh or Cry? I chose....laugh!

So I know it's been awhile since I've blogged. Do not be fooled, this does not mean that nothing has been happening!

Just a few days ago, Josh and I and our herd of kids went into Target. I had a few items to pick up and Mihya had a gift card she got for her birthday that was burning a hole in her little pocket. Josh, being brilliant like he is, came up with a phenomenal plan to "split up". Immediately I cringed because if past experiences predict my future I already know this can be nothing but bad. Being the personality type that he is, Josh proceeded with his own plan because that is what he had in his mind. Not only do we split up but I end up with Mrs. ADD, the human megaphone, and chatty Cathy!! How is it that Josh can always maneuver it so that he ends up with the servant hearted, Mrs. extreme cautious and the mute? I don't know, but I knew I had gotten the shaft from the beginning. I smiled, he smiled and we went our separate ways.

Josh headed down the isle with his troop toward the little girls section or CD's so Mihya could spend her loot. I browsed around with my gang looking for some plain t-shirts to sweat around the house in. I was pretty much just leisurely walking through as the three stooges picked things up they thought I should be buying. Some of the things I agreed with and put in my cart, some of the things I am appalled by and some of the things I'm laughing inside trying to picture myself wearing. Then, I took my gang to the area in the store that most moms are cautious to avoid with children.....the bra and under wear section. I know, I know I sound insane but this was one of the reasons I came in the first place. I needed some new unders that weren't expensive for reasons no man reading this blog wants to hear about concerning a certain time of month. Now, Josh knew this was my plan going in so I am sure this played a big role in why he left me high and dry with three out of six kids (I guess I should thank him that he didn't bail on me with all six?). I start scoping out the ones that would be best for the purpose I need them to serve and just as I start to get really focused on my task at hand chatty Cathy picks up a pair of thong under wear over her head, hands on each side string and says "what are THESE for?" I chuckle a bit at the predicament that I am in and say "without those straps the panties cannot stay up." With that Mrs ADD is trying to melt into the ground and the megaphone is yelling "put those down, why are you holding those in the air?" I of course am laughing a bit harder now and say to all of them "it's ok, come help me find some cute panties" when chatty Cathy proceeds to enquire about what she is holding above her head "yes, but see how they are so little? why are they so little? are these panties for mommies or for little girls? You have some of these don't you mommy? I like yours. (turning to a young mom standing by) don't you like these? My mommy is going to buy some more panties today. Do you get this kind? (off subject) I like your baby. See all these panties over here? They have all kinds of decorations on them over here. Mommy, do you need more of these kinds of panties or the ones that have a big butt spot?......" on and on she went, because as you know when you pull the string....she will talk!! I am now laughing at the innocent women with infants in their carts who really have no clue what the next 18 years will be bringing them. One actually has the nerve to say "oh, I can't wait for that stage" I respond by saying "trust me, you can!". I get everyone refocused on my "life size" panty purchase and high tail it out of the panty section as soon as my selections are made, a relief for Mrs. ADD and myself.

Just when I think things could not get worse, I head with my troop to the fitting room. No, I'm not trying on my granny panties, but I am going to try on the few items that ended up in my cart before hand. All four of us squeeze into the cramped space intended for one and I start trying on clothes. Of course they each have something to say as each new item gets put on and I check it out in the mirror. I don't really know why I felt inclined to try these clothes on in the first place. For starters, I am buying things to stay home and clean the house in and worse case they are to small and I'm out a whole $2. Anyway, i am here trying on clothes with three kids in a Target dressing room when I pull out a pair of shorts one of my assistants had put in the cart. If you've seen me at all you know that I am not lacking curves on the bottom portion of my body. In fact, I am quite curvy and admittedly have no idea how most of my jeans ever fit around my waste after having to make it up and around the lower region. I really do like the shorts though and think that for what its worth I am going to try them on. Well, I have six eyes watching me, and I think somehow subconsciously I had forgotten that. So, I step into the jeans when out from the quiet fitting room my human megaphone announces "I do not think those are going to fit you mom!" I give my crustiest "lower your voice!" look in her direction when chatty Cathy starts in "are you sure that's your size? that doesn't look like your size. Emma, did you get her the wrong size? wow, I think those are to little and you should get some other ones. ......" At this point I am standing straight up with the much too small shorts around my ankles with a horrified "oh. my. gosh.......I can't believe this is happening" look directed right at Mrs. ADD who is folded over in a gut wrenching fit of laughter. My human megaphone and chatty Cathy continue their ramblings while ADD and I get to laughing so hard, we cannot even speak. I'm serious, I don't know exactly how long this went on but I felt like it was ages. I felt like they had high tea and scones while commentating on my disastrous choice of short size......but I could not speak!! Other snickers started coming from several of the dressing rooms and with that ADD and I laughed harder and more uncontrollably. As we laughed harder megaphone and chatty enquired more about the situation at hand. Ramblings such as "how are you going to pull them up? Are they stuck down there? Are you SURE that's your size? Mom. Mom. Mom (while being patted) Maybe they mixed up the tags...." Finally, I regained control, gave some short "thank you for your insight" answer, picked up the items I'd be purchasing and swiftly exited the dressing room. We were promptly greeted by Josh and his relaxed group where I told him "we need to go and we need to go fast, I have no idea who was in there but I promise you it would embarrass you if it is someone you know from the office so let's get a move on!"

I'm still smiling about how funny it all was. I'm secretly (although mortified at times) grateful that we have such a quirky, even obnoxious at times, family. I can't imagine having a family that never laughed together. So, when many people would curl up in a ball and cry, I'm going to chose to laugh at all these wonderful memories of childhood innocence.......and share them with you, so hopefully you can laugh too!