In Emma's Words

I’m really not a writer. In fact, I would rather talk your ear off or read a book before I even think about writing a sentence but, here it goes:

My life when I was younger was perfect although I didn’t even realize it then. I do now. I had a life you read about in books, or see in the movies. I had the perfect parents who loved each other so much, and who in all my life had seen argue but once or twice. I had all the money and clothes I could dream of and a nice house. My brothers and sisters and I got along for the most part and we all loved each other. I never had a care in the world, except that my parents would turn out like most of my friends parents. I saw my friends parents not sleeping in the same bed, not talking, not looking at each other with love but with hate. Most of all, I saw many divorced. Now, I didn’t typically cry. Never actually. It annoys me when people do cry, but every time I would think about my parents ending up like my friends parents who were divorced, I would feel like crying. I never would though, because I knew that not in a million years would that happen to them.

The best thing my parents taught me was not to judge people for what they look like or how they act but for who they are inside. I understood that but my understanding has now changed, since my mom and dad took me into that retreat. Everyone judges at least once in their life. It’s like lying. All parents teach you “don’t lie, don’t lie, don’t lie”, my parents did. They also enforced “don’t judge” just as much. “don’t judge, don’t judge, don’t judge”. Now, just like lying we all judge, some more than others. But, if you tell a huge lie and get caught you don’t lie as much after that and you catch yourself before you do. Same with judging, when something big happens, like this, I don’t judge as much and I catch myself more before I do. My parents are the ones who taught me that, the best thing they have taught me.

When my parents told me my dad was gay I was in my room curling my hair and watching How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. I had had a great day and was excited for the one week break. My mom told me that her and my dad had to talk to me. I was plotting in my head what they were talking to me about: vacation, money, a movie, date night. When they called me into the retreat I was smiling until I saw their faces. My first thought was “who died?” Then I looked at them again and started to feel like crying. They started with “We are getting a divorce, Emma” I kind of laughed and then I said “Why?” My mom said “dad is gay”. I really thought they were lying and I yelled through my tears “If you are lying I’m moving out!” I was angry that they would be lying about that until I found out they weren’t, they were serious. They were both crying and I said to my dad, “I don’t care if you are gay, I care that you are getting a divorce”. I started crying with sadness instead of anger. Then I said “In life everyone has a time to accept someone for who they really are, and now is my time to shine” I was so sad. I cried that night and when they would try to talk to me about it. I still cry sometimes, we all do. I’m still sad but that doesn’t keep us from being a family and sticking together.

My thoughts on having a gay dad? At first I kept thinking “this is not happening!” but now that I am positive it’s true, I think it is OK. There are always good and bad parts of everything. Some of the best things about my dad are because of the fact that he is gay.

-My dad helps me get dressed

-He won’t freak out when I have a boyfriend because he doesn’t really know all of the boys thoughts about girls (when he read this he told me “Yes, I do!”)

-I will someday get three dads. One is my dad, one is my dads partner and one is my moms husband

-My dad is more talkative than my friends dads, and I can tell him anything.

-He doesn’t freak out when I ask him to go bra and panty shopping with me, he loves shopping for anything!

When trying to think of anything “bad” about having a gay dad, the only thing I could think of was that not everyone likes gay guys. I guess their parents weren’t as good at teaching them not to judge like my parents have taught me.

My thoughts on having an accepting mom? I am grateful. I have heard about wives who take the kids and run. I think that is sad. I love my mom because she is accepting and not crazy angry. That is the reason that my dad didn’t come out in the first place. I am glad my mom didn’t tear my dad down like that. I am also sad for her because I don’t think anyone knows what she is going through. Like she said on her blog the other day, she is trying to be a coffee bean but I think that sometimes she feels like a carrot.

My family today has changed but we are still a family. We might not be like families you read about in books or see on T.V. or movies but we are a family. We still fight, we still have bumps in our road, we still go on adventures, we still all live together, and we all love each other. My family is different and unique, we not only have an obscene amount of kids but we have a gay dad and an accepting mom. Most of all my family loves everyone for what and who they are.

The world needs to know it is scary and sad. Although we are, always will and always have stayed positive; it is not easy. It is not what it seems all the time. At this point questions like “how are you?”, “how have you been?”, and “are you ok?”, just seem silly to me. If you were in my situation how would you be? I also think the world needs to know that even though my dad is gay, he is still my dad and a great one. He still has the sarcastic humor he always has had. He still wears crazy shirts. He still can’t live without Starbucks. He still can’t sit still for longer than a minute. He is still involved in all of our lives and school. He is still my dad, a sarcastic gay man.

In the future of my family I hope for happiness and love. In the future of my family I hope for three dads. In the future of my family I hope for acceptance. In the future of my family I hope for us to change the world’s perspective. In the future of my family I hope that we don’t change everything just because there has been one big change. In the future of my family I hope for continued love and happiness.