Kids are funny. They take risks and push the line in ways that keep me baffled. For instance, this week EmmaLeigh and Kaidon are enjoying a tennis camp. The coaches are awesome and the kids have thoroughly enjoyed getting out in the warm summer sunshine to burn some energy and tackle a well loved sport. At the end of each three hour day the kids gather all their raffle tickets that they've accumulated for doing whatever great things the coaches caught them doing and they have a fun little prize give away. Now, some of the prizes are insignificant to you or I, but of course the kids adore them, like candy and gum. Still others are much more rewarding like a tennis club bumper sticker (really coveted here amongst the masses as seen HERE) and tennis attire or tennis magazines. Point being, the kids want to get tickets; and even more they want to win!!!
Monday, on the first day of camp as the raffle started many of the tickets being called ended up having no owner. Every now and then, however, a winner would yell out in elation over the winning of yet another piece of Laffy Taffy. I noticed, and clearly all the participants noticed, that this was solely based on the honor system.....you say you win.....you get a prize.....viola' it's a done deal! As time went on and on and on...a boy, we'll call "Drew" ('cause that's his name) would pause look around and then say "that's me!". Again, no questions asked and after winning 5 prizes with only 4 tickets this, Drew, was a lucky little booger don't you think? My kids questioned Drew's honesty. As their mother I challenged them to think better of their peer. "but.....but....but...." were their responses. I have to admit, they had valid reasons to question his integrity and yet, I just wanted them to trust the goodness in human nature.
Tuesday at camp, it was time for the raffle again and again, Drew, would pause and look around before shouting out that it was he who had the winning raffle ticket. Suspicions rose amongst the adults in the crowd, but nothing was said except for the quiet murmurs of "wow, he should buy a Lotto ticket if he's really getting that lucky!" When the next prize announced was going to be a French Open tennis shirt, you could almost feel the air heat up another ten degrees. Low and behold Drew hops up and shouts out "that's me!", when finally to all witnesses silent probing the coach asks for the "winning ticket" to be revealed. Drew blankly looks at his peers, he mumbles around a few pleading "it's me, it's mine, I won, I have the ticket" but amazingly never really even attempts to look down at his numbers. With more probing from the coach, Drew begins to sort through his tickets and comes up empty handed!
Honestly, I felt sort of bad for the little cheater pants! I felt like "wow, public humiliation is the absolute worst", wouldn't you agree? So many times I've been humiliated one way or another in the eye of the public and it never gets easy. I've tripped and fallen countless times, I've gotten frustrated and said nasty things to people who didn't deserve it, I've had to apologize for my child's bad behavior, I've lost a baby who we loved to the core. Some of these things, I couldn't even control; and yet, the humiliation behind them is paralyzing. I felt bad for this child, until the very next drawing where Mr. Cheater pants himself tried the scam again to no avail! The gull of that child! I'd like to hope that if my children were caught cheating they'd feel the pang of embarrassment and shame and remorse enough to wait more than a split second to do it again. There's no telling, but I would hope so.
On the car ride home I had to admit to my kids that they were right. They had definitely spotted a cheater pants. We talked about how winning by cheating never feels as good as really winning at something. We talked about honesty and integrity and how in one split rash decision of greed, they can change how other people judge their character. We talked about how only Drew had the capability to decide how he was going to be viewed by his peers. We talked about how nothing in that whole giveaway was worth jeopardizing how you saw yourself as a human being and unfortunately when you cheat, steal, lie etc. you not only affect those around you but you negatively affect your own self esteem! BUT.....we also talked about how his mom and dad should punish this bad behaviour and in my usual Hunt style here's what each of my kids said:
EmmaLeigh: As my genuinely honest, good natured, selfless girl; she was appalled that Mr. Cheater pants even had the thought to do this. Her idea was each of his honestly earned tickets would need to be dispersed evenly amongst his peers, giving him no chance to lie about winning anymore.
Kaidon: This boy values good, hard work. His idea of a good punishment was that for each prize he had "won" he needed to replace it to the coach with another prize of equal or more value than his cheated prize.
Mihya: Full of grace and a heart for the underdog. Mihya said she would make him give back the things he stole. Then....(because we asked if she thought he would learn his lesson by that minor punishment) she said she would not let him play tennis, he'd have to only be allowed to play other things! (ouch. severe huh?)
Graysie: This is my child who may at times (uhhum) struggle (huh um) with honesty (mmmhuh) herself, said he would get a spanking, owe her chores to pay back the prizes, give away the prizes he still had, be grounded, etc. etc. etc. (Wow! I know what to do for her next laps in judgement now don't I?)
Mikael: My man of many words and great insight said...................(shrug his shoulders)...........(silence).........................(quiet pondering)...............then at last "I don't know". Hopefully Mikael marries a great wife who doesn't mind taking on the role as the "heavy" in his household!
Kayela: Who has found herself in her room more than out of it in this first week of summer break suggested the old tried and true soap in the mouth for lying, spanking on the bottom and a year's worth of grounding! (oh, how that sounds so magical now, until she realizes that when little kids are grounded their mommies are too!)
There you have it, proof that personality does in fact play a role in parenting styles. Can't wait to see how they all do as parents someday!.......PAYBACKS!!
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