Enlightened!
(.....continued from previous post)
Some times in life you will be picked up and turned in a new direction without ever even realizing it's happened. Other times you are totally aware that "Wow, this will be a pivotal moment in my life!". While still numerous other occasions you are left thinking "this will change me, I just don't know how yet". Right now, I've been left in the dust somewhere in the middle of the ladder two emotions.

Thursday my friends supposed flight came in around 2:15. He had insisted on renting a car, although we had extended use of our vehicles for them to use while they were in town. We were planning on meeting for dinner and then heading back to our house where we'd settle down for the night. My kids had school on Friday and the meeting that was bringing he and his wife into town in the first place was occurring on Friday and I had assumed after a long day of travel they'd be tired anyway. I received a text at about 2:30 our time from him stating that his layover had been extended 2 hours due to mechanical issues on the plane and that they were on their way and would be landing about 5 our time. I asked if they were still up for dinner and he replied yes they would be and that his daughter was sleeping and should be in a good mood upon arrival. We discussed the plan for him to call when he had the rental car and I'd leave the house so that we'd arrive at dinner around the same time. After a few banters back and forth by each of us he explained the flight attendant was getting on him and he needed to power off his phone. That was the last I heard from him!

At around 5:30 I shot a text to him asking if they'd arrived. At around 6 I decided to pick Josh up from the office just so we'd be ready when he called. At about 6:30 Josh and I checked the flights from the airline he was flying and saw that everything was due to arrive on time. Periodically we tried calling and his phone was still off. I resorted to the fact that maybe the flight left there at 5 and he would be arriving at 7. When 7:45 came and went, I had a fleeting thought that maybe his cell phone had died and information only had our home number so we'd better get back to the house. After checking caller ID I realized that was not the case and I'd better feed my starving kids. We went out to dinner fully expecting for he and his family to meet up with us and for us to have to apologize for starting without them. After getting the kids to bed around 9 and explaining (as I had been doing for the past 3 hours) that "this is just not like him". I started to panic. We called every hospital, tried to get information from the airlines, contacted the police department and finally decided to call it a night at about 11 pm. Clearly, everything possible was running through my head! I was deflated and left wondering "Was this all fake?".

Yesterday, Josh and I went into P.I. mode! Since Josh had taken the day off of work to be with our guests, we had plenty of time to spend uncovering the truth. Our findings were both shocking and disappointing to me. The first and easiest thing to do was look him up on MYspace and sure enough he had and account and sure enough it stated he was single, worked for a totally different company, and had no child! I found the pictures of his supposed wife (boy would she be surprised to know she has a facebook account and she's married) who probably doesn't even know who this guy is! Like I said before this was devastating to me! Why had he lied? Why had he contacted me after 14 years? Why hadn't he kept up the lie and said they missed the flight or that they got sick. Had that happened I never would have questioned and searched for the truth. The more I thought about it, the more I was searching for the motive!

To me, it wasn't good enough to say he had "turned into a whack job" as my husband so eloquently put it. I knew that! For me, however, I needed to hear more than just that. I needed the motive. I needed the "why". Really any excuse would do because I knew this was so out of character. I know it sounds crazy, but I knew in order for him to have become such a "whack job" he had to be hurting and in good conscience I couldn't walk away from that. I sent him an email letting him know that I had uncovered these lies and so far I haven't received a response.

Last night I got the answer to my search of motive. Last night I cried for my friend who I knew was hurting. Last night I explained grace and friendship to my kids. Last night I was enlightened by the fact that what I once knew as pure is not eternal. Last night it was made clear again that addictions hold captive our good intentions. Most of all I learned that my search for things like meaning,acceptance and purpose are all relative to who I choose to keep company. I know I have a purpose in my friends life and I intend on making myself ever present to him until that purpose is fulfilled.