Same Old New Thing

I am trying very hard to lose weight. Actually, come to think of it, I am always trying very hard to lose weight. I always say my body has not communicated with my scale about the effort I have been putting out though. No, I feel like I should see much bigger results than I do, considering I feel like I am being tortured to death by my fat thighs and sugar cravings! As it's been said before, "desperate times call for desperate measures" and at this point I am DESPERATE! Remember, I have to be swim suit material now... not just a couple months a year, but for like practically the whole year! That, my friends, is almost worth crying over.

For Valentine's day Josh got me a gift that most wives would seek out marriage counseling for, and yet I was thrilled to death. I got a diet book. Now, Josh knew I wanted a diet book, I had talked up the diet book, I had begged for the diet book and yet when he handed me my Valentine's day gift you should have seen him squirming. Had I not been so excited I could have really pulled off some awesome prank. Cracks me up to even think of all the things I could have done to get him really good. Needless to say, I was so caught up in the fact that I got my diet book I didn't think quick enough. I know, I know you are thinking "oh, Lord, we've got to get her into some therapy!" and although therapy would help me in many other arenas of my so called life, right here and now, a diet book is just what I needed.

So, for the past three weeks I have eaten things that are mostly green and grow from the ground. As a matter of fact, as I type this I am eating steamed asparagus. (Sorry Amanda you probably are still having nightmares about me feeding you canned asparagus when you came to visit years ago) I have exercised which I hate...no, I loathe! I have even done some muscle building workouts and, I'm sure you remember, I've even been rollerblading. I pulled one butt muscle and I'm limping around the house because my knees hurt. I couldn't laugh for two days because my stomach muscles were so sore, I even told Emma to stop being funny 'cause "everything hurts". Well, yesterday was my tell all day where I was going to weigh-in and measure how much thinner I was. Obviously, I wouldn't be posting about it had it not been such a HUGE number! I mean this number is so unbelievable I had to share it.....I lost 1 in.! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? I AM SO MAD!! ONE MEASLY LITTLE INCH? I AM SUFFERING much more than that!!

Poor Josh got an email from me yesterday just totally discouraged about the whole thing. He was sweet and offered to take back the diet book since it didn't work. OK, so he didn't, but he was very sweet and encouraged me to keep going (because I'm not sure of my exact words but I said something like "if I'm suffering and not seeing results I would rather just eat and drink what I want and sit around watching soap operas!" Josh did his whole little "task over time always gets results" speech, which in lam ins terms means "duh, you idiot you thought that eating like crap for years, having 3 pregnancies, not exercising and a diet for two weeks was getting you into swim suit shape...heelllllooooo??" I haven't turned desperate enough for this again but maybe its because I don't have mean neighborhood ladies who like to see me suffer.......I mean..... friends who care about me so much here in SC. So, I'm going to keep up with this whole big diet disaster, but I'm not happy about it at all!